  El Ex On Sunday night I hung out with Dizzy D. at a small dinner party his co-worker held. Afterwards we took a cab to Market St. and he walked me to my busstop. He was mostly quiet and occasionally he would attempt banal conversation: "So what have you been up to? What's happening in your life? " I found it appalling because he doesn't talk that way. I didn't want to make him feel awkward, so I played along: "Oh, the usual -- job stress, whatever.
" When the bus came, I hugged him goodbye, but he just stood like a statue and looked at me. I remembered that this is how he (non)hugs his friends. I said, "Fine then, be that way! " as I clapped his back comically and boarded the bus. During the ride home I concluded that he is difficult to be friends with and I wasn't going to further waste my time. Monday morning he wrote me an email saying that he saw "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs on MTV and it made him sad.
He wrote that he missed me and still thinks I'm the most wonderful girl in the world. I cried at my desk because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to hurt anyone. But I wrote back and said that he is just feeling sad and nostalgic, and that it's okay to feel this way. I remind him that I'm an impatient bitch and a racist and that we didn't have anything in common and we never hung out with each other outside the apartment. I remind him that he didn't like any of the music that I played while we were living together and this included the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
I don't remind him of how he would always borrow money from me, point out my pot belly, or not allow me to have male friends. He wrote back and said thanks for the reply, then chided me for having to work on a holiday: "Do the savages at your company not understand the sanctity of President's Day? " he quipped. Cheeky bastard. I'm Dizzy's first adult gf and I want him to look back on this experience as the best break-up ever. If he had gfs before me, he'd have been able to recognize the signs of a stagnant relationship.
Truthfully, if I hadn't met XX, Dizzy and I could have been together for a couple more years. But those years would've filled me with angst, irritation, and annoyance. I would've found any reason to delay coming home and any excuse to leave the house. These days I'm perfectly content coming home to an empty room with sounds of roommates coming from up the spiral staircase. 
