  Updates and Musings * I might go to Montreal this summer for four days. My mom--who never goes anywhere--will be travelling to Maryland for a few weeks to visit her best friend there. Then together they'll take a train up to visit another friend in Quebec. I'm going to meet them there. My mom and her best friend talk everyday on the phone, but they see each other only once every 7-8 years or so. *My aunt is losing weight.
My grandma's in the hospital again. This time with a black hand. The nurse tried each finger to make an IV connection to her blood but was unsuccessful. All this blood pooled in her hand so from her wrist down it's dark purple, almost black. It's like Adam Sandler's foot in Mr.Deeds, but this time it's in person, it's my grandma, and it's not funny. *I'm not playing music with J-Wo and her GF anymore.
It's no longer a weekly affair, but downgraded to casual get-togethers whenever the spirit moves them. I'm neither happy nor sad about it. I still am holding on to my secret dream of rock star-dom. Why do I want to be a rock star? So I can one day make out with Alex Greenwald (phantom planet). Of course I will be 42 and he'll be twice-divorced and puffy and boozy, but I can handle that.
A girl's gotta dream, right? *XX and I have also downgraded to a casual affair. Though it's nicer when it's casual. I get presents when I'm not obsessive and wigged out. Why does it always happen that way? Why does indifference and disinterest get rewarded?
Rewards like a matted and framed street painting that he bought in Paris; rewards like an electric toothbrush shaped like an ice cream cone!! ; Rewards like him making me dinner though he doesn't really cook. He even made an effort to cook three things so I could have three different things on my plate: fish, spinach, and creamy risotto. I always think about how ideal it is to have three things on my plate at dinnertime, but I didn't know that I said it aloud. I also didn't know that he ever listened to me. *The Satanic Verses is kicking my ass.
Goddamn, is this a hard read. It's not THAT hard, it's just that once you put it down, it's hard to pick back up because of the allure of kickier reads like TeenVogue and Ellegirl. XX is 100 pages from finishing, and I can't let him beat me! 
