  'Successful Relationship': an Oxymoron? I'm puzzled. No, I mean absolutely baffled. The things about relationships I've been hearing about in the last few months make absolutely no sense to me when I compare them to what I believe constitutes a relationship. The neighbours that live above me regularily use profanity when talking to each other. The young unmarried couple are borderline abusive to each other by saying things such as, "...you're an asshole--you make me feel like s***..." or "...don't f***ing get mad at me..." and so forth and so on.
Their language shows that they have absolutely no respect for each other. I know of a married couple struggling through the first few years of their marriage, and it has already degenerated to a point where the husband took his frustrations out on his wife by changing the locks to keep her out of the house. And don't get me started on the over-fifty-percent divorce rate in North America. Marriage viewed in such a way makes it appear like a gamble, and in this case 1-in-2 odds are not very favourable. There's way too much to lose in such a risky game. So based on this track record, one of the questions that I would like to ask: if there is so much to lose, why even consider a committed relationship? If people go into a relationship with a list of rigid, unyielding expectations, or worse yet enter it with absolutely no consideration of compatibility, value comparison, respect, self-respect, self analysis, honesty both to others and to self, good judgement, realism, confidence and humility, then wouldn't you figure out that the relationship stands a much less chance of succeeding?
The only answers I can come up with (based on my own talent for running relationships into the ditch occasionally) are things like self-indulgence, impatience, lack of self-confidence, neediness, and unresolved personal issues.
Can you imagine a world where young people take the time and effort to FIRST build their own character, FIRST explore their individual goals and dreams, FIRST resolve personal issues, FIRST challenge themselves and their own thoughts and beliefs, and FIRST realize that in order to be in a relationship that one should be whole, established (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc. ) and have definitive life direction BEFORE making a commitment that would have a huge impact on their life, their partner's life, and the lives of those around them? Perhaps we have given ourselves too much permission to make such a big decision. I know I have. 
