  OK, time for one of those miscellaneous blogs that I've been thinking about for a while and finally decided to just get down...(so watch out!
) So I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself yesterday because I was feeling lonely (which happens more often than I would like to admit), and I think I've finally realized that all my girl problems (or, more precisely, lack-of-girl problems) are entirely due to my own actions (actually, lack of actions). I mean, honestly, there are a few girls that I really like, but I never actually say anything; I'm always waiting "until I know them better," or the "timing is right," or "when I mature.
" Yeah, these are cop-outs, but I guess I'm more afraid of starting something and not having it work (and all the pain and frustration that that brings with it) than doing nothing about how I feel. I mean, I've lived with loneliness for most of my life, and it hasn't hurt me too bad; on the other hand, the one experience I've had with heartbreak really messed me up. So I think the decision-making process is pretty obvious here...don't do anything that might get you hurt.
I'll be the first to admit that this is totally cowardly. Most anything worth gaining entails risk at some point, and inasmuch as finding the right girl is a goal of the highest worth, so the process of finding her entails the most risk. Unfortunately, I'm a relatively risk-averse person; thus, when it comes to girls I try to wait for a "sure-thing" (which never comes).
Naturally, the answer is to be a bit more risky ( not risque ;), but that could take a while. And I'm a little dull when it comes to reading girls, so someone would virtually have to come up and smack me across the head before I realized that they actually liked me (which is not something I ever assume). But at the same time, it's obviously something I'm going to have to do eventually, so why not start sooner rather than later?
I don't really know what the point of all this is, but let's just say that I'm getting a little frustrated with myself. Hopefully someday things will come more naturally for me, especially in social settings; until then, I just hope that I don't miss some great opportunities with some great people because I'm too afraid to tell and show them how I feel. 
