  *** If an old wizened fool like Michael Douglas can score a lovely soft and smooth babe such as Catherine Zeta-Jones, then Abby, you too can be mistaken as the gf of an older gent. I used to think that May-December romances were vile and gross, but as I'm getting older, I get it. Some women just want someone reliable and dependable: someone who can handle their finances and is ready to settle down; someone who can provide for and take care of a wife and possibly a baby. I mean, who doesn't want the easy life? Me. Every so often, my mom sighs and reminds me to not marry an older man, like she did. Older men get old, she says, then you have to take care of them. My mom had it hard. She was my dad's nurse for over a decade as he progressed deeper and deeper into Parkinson's disease.
She had to spoonfeed him and diaper and wash him and clean up after him and she was barely in her 50s while he was in his mid-60s. I told her XX is 30 and she gasped. She was worried for me. I said, don't worry mom, I'm not gonna MARRY him, but if I do, there's always divorce! I was joking, but I think I gave her a mini-heart attack with that one. On Saturday, XX took me on a date. He promised awesome food at Thee Parkside, like Hush Puppies and Chicken Fried Steak, but when we went, they'd changed their menu to bar food burger fare. We went to Goat Hill Pizza instead and ate pizza and drank beer. Then we went to a rockabilly show at Thee Parkside. XX knew the doorman so we got in for free which was awesome! It's because I clip coupons and pick up pennies that I was so thrilled. I'd never been to a rockabilly show before, and it was fun to see all the 50s-styled eye candy -- all the dungarees, the pompadours, and the coiffed made-up ladies with dainty shoes. I felt like a bulldyke with my messy disheveled hair, windbreaker, and bare face. The show was okay, but I ached for the familiarity and comfort of scrawny pasty humble indie types.
Maneuvering through a rockabilly crowd is hard, because all the guys are big and assert their stance. At indie shows I tap people lightly on the shoulder and they sway out of the way, but on Saturday, it was like, tap. (No response. ) Harder tap. (No response. ) TAPTAPTAP! (No response. ) Then I had to find an alternate route. To examine things anthropologically, do you think people are attracted to certain scenes because of their physical type? Rockabilly guys are huge! 
