  Gluttons of the world, i ask you: how much easier is it to cram a handful of chips into your mouth without choking than it is to eat (looks haughtily down nose) potato wedges? chips! truly english. Chips, chips, bad for your heart but as for wedges, where do i start? they are bad for you in the extreme; they'll turn your insides to clotted cream no-one will hear your silent scream as you eternally sleep, of chips you shall dream. Why did i eat wedges? why oh why? you'll sit down there and start to cry wedges are truly traitorous a horrible use for the honest potatorus. 
