  Hello readers of this blog. Let's see what I did today. Well I woke up at the incredible time of 6:43 and ate a fantastic breakfast of raw steak and mushy scrambled eggs.
After downing this beautiful dish, my nourished body took itself upstairs and got dressed. In what you say? My wonderful uniform. What uniform you say? My crime fighting uniform! Yes yes. I do put time aside from my normal everyday life to help rid the society of those who plan to destroy it.
So anyway, after getting dressed in the proper attire I take a deep breath and step outside into the freezing cold. Of course shorts, a t shirt, and a haggard plaid shirt aren't really sufficient in keeping me warm, so I returned to my modern day Bat Cave and got a nice warm cardigan. Now I was ready for anything. So now I hop into my BMW that I don't have and drive off into the night.
Well...day. But whatever. After a thrilling drive through the slums, it was time for me to eat. Normally people simply walk into a restaraunt or go home and cook some medicore tasting sludge. But not me. Instead I climbed a tree and awaited for the feast to arrive. With my trusty laser pointer I managed to blind a squirrel which gave me enough time to jump out of the tree and beat the squirrel with a stick.
Ah nothing like fresh squirrel patties to stir up your appetite. But now it was time to return home to relax after a hard day of crimefighting. Sure, driving in a BMW and hunting squirrels seems like crimefighting to me. So now after recalling my accomplishments today I will rest for 40 days and 40 nights. But yeah in all actuality this never happened you crazy kids. Today was just like every other day. Wake up, eat, work, eat, work, come home, sleep. You should know this by now. Listen to H.I.M. 
