  I usually enjoy shopping.  Even shopping for everyday things,  groceries,  whatnot,  but it has to be at a good supermarket,  not the cheap but crappy "
penny- markt"  near Uni,  where you feel like in the german democratic republic,  circa 1982,  because by 5pm,
 when you crawl out from beneath your law books and into the world,  most things you want that day are probably sold out.  At Penny Markt,  shopping is adventurous:  the local alcoholics and the punks that lie around on the Uni lawn shop for their beer and korn and breathe into your face when you stand in the never ending line to finally pay your few DMs and get out.  Yeah.
 It's a classic experience,  that supermarket,  actually,  the check out ladies and men are classically ugly,  classically unfriendly,  classically rude.
 But it's cheap.  Enough of a reason.  Cheap food is tolerable.  But I wanted to write about the pleasure and non- pleasure of shopping. I really enjoy shopping at urlLink dm .
 dm rocks.  It's a drugstore,  and features all the products needed to make me feel good,  almost everything needed for worship in my temple ( aka the bathroom)  A good subsitute for "
boots -  the chemist"  which I just love to shreds.  dm is the only place where you can get brand cosmetics for a price even lower than the one printed on it.  Shopping there is fun.  Even shopping for something like.
say toilet cleaner,  shopping for washing up liquid ( shall I take the yellow pril smelling like lemons,  the eco- friendly Frosch one made of real lemons or the palmolive anti- bacterial one that's orange and would hence look best in my kitchen?
 -  the Orange one of course)  Shopping for nail- polish.  Shopping for. anything.
 Tina is my partner in crime.  She loves dm,  too.  We can spend time there,  sniffing on things,  looking at colours,
 discussing new cleaning products,  wondering why we react to advertisements that feature Sarah Michelle Gellar,  wasting time.  Shopping there lifts our mood.  My urlLink payback card loves dm,  too,
 I have loaded most of the points that I will one day swap against a soda streamer at dm.  So I enjoy shopping for things at dm.  For anything there.  Well,  anything but -  deodorant,
 that is.  Deodorant shopping sucks.  Shampoo shopping sucks a little,  every few months when I decide I am fed up with my brand and need a new one ( switched from Fructis to John Frieda " blonde"
 to Herbal Essences to El'Vital to. I am not very consistent with shampoo)  I stand in front of the shelf clueless,  staring at the colourful bottles,  but it's not half as bad as deodorant shopping.  Let me explain:
 I am usually brand- consious and brand- clingy.  If you win my heart once,  I am yours.  If you produce and market any kind of cosmetics and can convince me to buy it once,
 and make me like your product,  I will keep buying and buying.  Until you,  the evil producer,  decide to not produce the product anymore.  Or tempt me with a "
new &  improved"  version.  Or whatever else.  Shopping in another country is usually an adventure of it's own for me.  If I am not in tune with local marketing or can't find something I already know,
 it can be pretty hard.  However,  if I've been subjected to enough local mags though,  it's fun and entertaining.  I know already that if I ever happen to be in the US,  I will bring home several bottles of Jergen's "
Skin Smoothing Lotion"  I am every marketer's dream,  really,  a member of such a nice,  well defined target group.  So reactive to some kinds of advertisement.
 Daring to try out new things.  Somehow though,  all deodorant producers have failed me.  They just haven't convinced me yet that I need THEIR product or won't be happy otherwise.  I use something but do not cling to the product.  I find myself standing in front of that shelf,
 unable to make a decision,  a little overwhelmed.  There simply is too much choice in the deodorant shelf,  while there is no choice really,  because so many products just suck.  Too much choice =
 no choice.  Up there on the big shelf,  lined up like soldiers are the deodorants and anti- perspirants and all their sub- divisions:  sprays (
pump- action)  sprays ( can)  roll- ons,
 sticks,  creme- sticks,  wipes,  brand or generic,  deo-
crystals,  " sensitive"  and " intensive"  choices.
the list is endless,  really.  So how about a roll on?  Nicely practical and quick drying,  but those 24 hour ones ( and this is apparently the only variety out there,
 no matter what brand)  only seem to come in two varieties,  either pure stinky mineral solutions ( yeah,  the smell of aluminium!  or in fake-
flowery.  Yuk.  So these are a no- no.  As are those that smell like pure alcohol ( the smell suggest that it hurts to apply that on frehly shaven pits)
 Then there's Nivea,  a nice trusted brand for lots of things.  But their deo. sucks.  Nivea deo in all it's application forms ( roll on,
 spray,  wipes)  smells too much like Nivea and I don't want that in my armpit surrounding me like a cloud of Nivea sticky cleanliness.  Just doesn't smell well with say. Jean- Paul Gaultier.
 Or my Lush Body Powder.  Same goes for impulse.  It stinks.  It sucks.  Yuk.  I am not their target group after all,
 I am not 14 and like Britney Spears.  ( Even though I admit owning on of their products because it's called ICQ.  Don't use it though,  hide it below my sink somewhere,  next to other unused products.
 The packaging of Impulse products looks ugly,  too.  So as a general rule,  pure deodorants and everything in an evil ozone- layer- killing can is a no-
no for me,  and deo crystals are a little too eco for me,  too.  So the choice is smaller,  but still.  So how about a simple anti-
perspirant?  -  Well,  even the smell of something as evil as Rexona Ultra or Hidro- Fugal make me think of clogged sweat glands and the necessary operations to open them up again.  So yet another no-
no.  I actually did give one a chance a while back,  a " sensitive"  formula,  that really wasn't -
uhm-  ( blushes*  strong enough.  So it was hence never bought again.  So how about a stick application then?
 Well,  thanks,  but no thanks.  Sticks leave that yucky residue.  It sucks on sleeveless blacks,  it stains white shirts and turns the underarms area a nice light yellow,
 no matter how well you wash.  Tina ruined all her shirts with it one year ( we think it has something to do with a chemical reaction between product -  sweat -  washing powder)  I ruined a good amount of my white shirts and a jumper in the first summer "
Secret"  was available in Germany ( I had been tempted by US advertising for it for a good while before that)  So sticks are a no- no,  too.
 Which basically just leaves the creamy formulations.  Which are tricky because one needs to stay away from the old fashioned * creamy- creamy*  products ( ick!
 Nivea!  ick!  ick!  And from the metallic- smelling formulations ( so Rexona Creme is out,
 too)  And from those that just don't appeal to my sense of what's good packaging.  Oy.  Which basically just leaves me to choose between the different smells of one product.  See:  too much choice =
 no choice.  I take a little sniff at the 5 variations of that one brand,  am disgusted by the one with a little white label,  almost naeuseous after smelling on those with the pink and violet lables ( and have to remember one horrible day at work at Arthur Andersen in 1999,  when I used the pink variety that I had gotten as a tester,
 and almost threw up during the day because of the smell of my * own*  deodorant)  but am then transformed back in time and space ( 1996,  NZ,
 " Degree"  deodorant,  purchased at K- Mart at Riccarton Mall)  by the one with the little greenish label.
 So I look for one without a smeared applicator part,  find one at the back of the shelf and drop it into my basket,  with a sigh.  As I stand at the check out ( Corny Muesli bars Choco,  all cotton o.
b.  comfort mini,  and a bar of Nivea soap also on the check out belt,  next to the Deo)  I am not content with what's lying there,  even though the smell is ok,
 even though it worked okay before.  So this is not a first purchase.  No excitement that carrying home something new brings you.  I feel like I had no choice and am not content with my soon- to- be purchase.
 I * had*  to buy that product,  not because I was convinced it rocked,  but because all others simply sucked.  So as I hand my payback card over to the check out girl I send a psychic message to the makers of "
Secret Satin Dry Creme Nature Fresh"  as my money trasnfers on weird ways,  into their accounts:  No.  No.  No.
 The fact that I am buying your product doesn't mean you've convinced me.  You have FORCED me.  You need better marketing.  And better competitors.  No.  No.
 No.  I do not like you.  You should make me feel good about purchasing your product.  And I know that next time I need some deo,  when this one is empty,  I will stand in front of the shelf for 5 minutes again,
 follow the same line of thought and leave just as discontent,  with probably the same purchase.  Duh.  urlLink Je suis une freak.
