  10 years ago. Almost 10 years ago. Twas ten years ago since my mom walked in Central Park, my dad carefully drove in Snake Road. The apartment and the dentist clinic in Philadelphia. The flee markets, Macy’s, Thanksgiving, Martha’s Vineyard, Coney Island. That was ten years ago.
After that, they went back here in Manila, due to home sickness. Sometimes, I could see my dad’s eyes twinkle every American scene played in cable, terribly missing the place. Who could blame him? Recently, the family has been discussing the possibility of migrating to the States. The scenario in not really new. This issue had been discussed a thousand times over holidays, family celabrations, even Sunday dinners.
This time around, my grandma (the matriach of the family), laid down her willingness to move permanently in the East Coast of the so-called land of Milk and Honey. And since I’m only just a new member of the Sunday Table Dinner, I had no choice but to hide my grimace over the mechado lola cooked. Her decision was accepted without hesitation from all. Except from my violently reacting mind. I cannot imagine leaving the country. Not ever.
Or maybe not right now. I grew up here! How can I survive without the isaw? The balut? How about the year-round pool parks? Conveniently available sari-sari stores?
Ice tubig? My not-even-halfway-thru island hopping? Sunken Garden? Baywalk? My friends? Only a few of them are in US, mostly in the West Coast.
The decision was really impossible if the main consideration is my continued survival in this planet. Well, they could leave me this house.... ***** Dear Bri, What can I say? Una-unahan nga lang ba? I’ll be once again stepping in the white fine-combed sands, foamy lapping waves of Boracay this weekend. Willy’s Rock, Jonah’s, Station 2, Summer Place, Hey Jude, the Mall. Memories, memories, memories.
Early the day, I found myself flipping through the Boracy Photo album. Pictures of you and your model (phew! ) poses; the shot wherein you were in the sand, laughiug your head off with this “BRIAN!” joke I kept on repeating (LOL while typing this); La Reserve and that french guy Bernand; the mugged Korean; against all odds swimming in the night; the choco-banana crepe in that barista’s hut; Monica aka Bruno? Hahahahaha. Even with the typhoon, everything was worth the trip. I remember on our second night when we went dancing in Summer Place and this surfer guy started dancing with me and you immediately cut in.
How bout Vlad’s look-alike who had a, ehemm, crush on me? I was actually having second thoughts whether to tag along in this trip. It would mean betrayal in the spit-compact we made in the place, swearing we are not stepping on that place again unless if we’re together. Should I say sorry? Okay, sorry ka nalang..... hehehehe. But I promise this July, together.... ***** Sige na.
Mas excited pa kayo sakin. Sige, kayo magpaparty. Tutal mukang yung mga gusto niyo na naman ang masusunod, tulad last year. Ang hirap kase sa inyo, nagdikit-dikit ang mga beerday ninyo sa buwan ng BER. So ang unang hurrah ng barkada, mangagaling sa akin ngayong July. It’s annoying enough that I’ll be adding another year to my already old, old age.
Ayan at may Grand Painom pa! Para bang hindi pa kayo nagsasawa sa monthly toma sessions natin pang nagkikita-kita tayo, kelan pang isumbat ang birthday ko at bigyan ako ng listahan ng mga tomang dapat present. Nataranta ako bigla bago ko ma-realize na May palang pala. Wala pa ngang kalahati ang May! Hala, anu tong mga nakasulat? Absolut Koran and Raspberry; San Mig Light and Strong Ice; Kahlua; Heineken; Fundador, Red Horse; Colt 45; Tequila; Maria Clara; Red and White Wine.... teka-teka, may-ari ba ako ng isang alcohol distillery at anak ba ako ng isang beer magnate para pag-produce-sin niyo ako ng mga ganio.
Okay lang kayo?! Hindi naman kayo mga sunog-bago noh? Napansin ko lang. Naisip ko tuloy last birthday ko. Masaya naman tayo dun sa San Mig Light at Tequila ah. Ba’t parang ang dami yata ngayon?
Tsaka patok yung entertainment natin last year: Videoke; Baraha; Bingo; Charades; Agawan Base; Marathon ng Simpsons. Ayus na yun kung replay. Masyado kayo magastos. Teka, makapagbudget nga. ***** It’s not a sexual need. I don’t love him.
But I just came into a realization that he is the only guy I imagined waking up to the rest of my life. No questions about that. During the course of our three times sexual stint, I always find myself not sleeping. It was enough for me that I’m laying beside him, touching his right earlobe, seeing him twitch as if he’s dreaming of something bad. It wasn’t love. But it was contentment .
I was contented to be in that way for the rest of my life. Not talking but just sleeping together. I miss him right now. Miss even how bad he treated me. Somehow, I’ll never grow tired of that, it will be a bad habit I’m looking forward to feeling. Like you.
***** In the Libre comic strip of Nano Gang today : I hope that this darkness would end soon… …so that I could see you again. 
