  it's been a rather sad day...man it hasnt been good at all. this must be the...oh i dont even remember how many nights i've ended up just crying. i just start and i cant stop. i was tryin so hard to have a good day and be happy. i really didnt wanan be sad for my concert.
i think i did a good job...it sounded good and for a little short while i could feel some happiness left in me. just a bit. but it jsut all fell apart and i just broke down again...luckily it was after i'd left the concert. oh man...YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN!!! i didtnt know i could hurt this much after kari...thought it could never get any worse. i miss her more than anything. i miss how sweet should would be. i miss hearing her voice.
i miss her attention. i miss her love. i cant stop crying. i dont know how to stop. i dont know how to feel good bout this. i need a hug. i need someone to tell me that ill be ok at night. im speechless now. i dont know what else to say. goodnight. 
