  I NEED A VACATION FROM MY VACATION, EITHER THAT OR I WILL EAT BANANAS TO MY DEATH. oh gaaaaaawd! I am going crazy! Nuts! Off my rocker! Out of my tree! Psycho! yes, my aunt, uncle, and two cousins are here. I love seeing my aunt and uncle but DAY-AMN they have bad kids! Cameron is 3yrs. And the worst of the two, and Conner is 2yrs. And well, much sweeter and more well-behaved than Cameron. Since Sunday I have been chasing, yelling, grabbing, hiding, feeding, playing and scolding and I am worn to the nub. I enjoy Conner, he's very considerate and he loves playing with you, but Cameron.... Well he's horrible, a little monster.
Of course I try not to play favorites but it's pretty hard when you've got one who wants to tell you he wuvs you and one who wants to throw plastic golf clubs at you. it's Wednesday, only 2 more days until they head back to Ohio, and since Sunday I've totally charmed these kids. They love me to death, especially Conner... God he's such a sweetie. Yet even though I enjoy some aspects of the whole child-rearing thing, this much exposure to toddlers has only solidified my decision that I will have ZERO children even more. they're so.... Slimy? whiny? Loud? Devilish? Smelly? Dirty? Annoying as hell? aside from the obvious badness of the chitlins, I've been feeling very abused lately. Devon has been ignoring her obligation to chase kids because she's been getting ready for her trip, and everyone else seems to feel that it should be my responsibility to watch the kids.
I got my feelings hurt when everyone((my aunt, uncle, mom, grandma, and sister)) went to have manicures and pedicures and left me with the kids. BY MYSELF! I COULD HAVE DIED! The only upside I could find was that my uncle's feet are soft and silky, but other than that it was horrible to be left out of a family affair so I could stay by myself and wipe noses.
It's kind of like last week when mom and Devon and Lauren went and had their eyebrows waxed and told me I wasn't invited. It all makes me feel pitiful, like a kid on a playground who doesn't have any friends. Oh well. another thing that severely pissed me off: I had to cancel my guitar lessons so I could babysit for them! And since Cameron popped the strings last time I had my guitar out, poor acoustic and poor stratocaster are living in the closet.
I'm like, majorly ancy to play, but I knoooow if I get them out the boys will throw a fit. today was much better than Monday and Tuesday. Bess invited me to a movie and we went and saw The Lady Killers. Ok folks, you MUST all see this movie!!! It was definitely one of the best I've ever seen and it was hysterically funny. It's about a group of men, the leader of which is tom hanks, who((now close your eyes if you don't want me to ruin it for you)) tunnel through this old woman's cellar to rob a casino. Now this may sound a little... Eh, but it's not, it was a super fabulous movie and I hope everyone goes to see it. Plus I'm not gonna tell you how it ends, which is the best part. before the movie we went to the mall and spent an hour at fucking American eagle getting shitmunch some... You guessed it...
Underwear. I didn't think it was possible to spend SO much valuable time looking at the same 6 pairs of overpriced badly made tacky looking panties, but it IS and we DID. So dimwad got some ugly neon underwear and we were finally able to leave that godforsaken trough. in case you haven't figured it, I hate stores like American eagle, abercrombie and fitch, Hollister, and Charlotte Russ.
I think they are loud, stupid, overpriced, full of five-minute fads, and basically sell all the same shit. And another thing, if you've ever bought blue jeans and paid extra for all the holes poked in them, then you should wack yourself with a brick. When you will actually pay money for the factory to jab holes and rips through your clothes and then jack up the prices, you know you've got issues. I mean, seriously, they don't sell torn up blue jeans at GOODWILL. I understand if you like holes in your clothes... But for fuck's sake don't buy them like that. so after the movie we went to old navy. Bess bought this cute orange hat and I got a pair of pants. When we got home we ordered Chinese from CHINA HOT ((oh yah!!! )) and it was tasty. After dinner I cleaned up the kitchen and spent the next couple hours wrestling kids.
After a couple screaming fits we got them into bed and after a couple trips out of the bed and then back again, we got them to sleep. yeah, I am bitching a lot about these kids, but I'm a Scorpio, and in case you don't know, scorpios love to share their things, but hate to share their territory.
With the aunt and uncle sleeping in my bed and the boys dirtying my room, I'm totally on edge. Cameron has already broken a lamp and a ceramic angel((neither of which we told mammaw about before we threw the shattered knick-knacks in the trash)). oh!! And I haven't even gotten to the bad part yet!!! Tomorrow Devon is leaving for her trip((which I am sick of taking up her slack for)) and Steven is taking the adults to lunch! I WILL BE WITH KIDS! ALONE! FOR HOURS AND HOURS! I will surely die, I will surely kill myself with bananas. I found out the other morning that I'm allergic to bananas, which is weird since I used to eat them all the time.
I was having one for breakfast that mammaw had bought out of the blue, and all of the sudden my throat closed up and I got all itchy. I was like "help" and mom was like "be quiet"!!! If I'm allergic to avocados I'll be pissed, because I love avocados and they're in the same family as bananas. something I forgot to mention earlier, which is strange since it's so freaking funny, is that while Steven and momma were in Los Angeles, Steven went to the spa and had a fake fingernail put on his thumb!!
And he loves it! You see, he got a fungus and lost a part of his thumbnail and it bugged him a lot, but then he just had a fake one put on and he loves it! When momma told me I was like: "you know you're dating a girl, right? " "yep" "you know in most states, you're considered a lesbian? " "in MOST states. " I swear to god I've never met such a metrosexual. in fact I think Steven must have inspired the term. He gets manicures and facials and colonics and is pampered more than myself or most women I know. Now that he has this fake nail, I don't know what to think, it's just damn funny. ((momma says he's not gay)) ((uh huh)) ((but she says he's too good in bed to be gay)) ((well, alright then)) well folks I believe that's all I have for you today. I wish I could blog more this week, but then again I wish I could relax more this week too. I think if I don't get some down time soon I might explode, but it looks like the only way I'm gonna get any R&R is if I get the flu again after they leave.
1. My favorite flower is an iris. 2. I've been to Canada, but never Europe((sob)) 3. I love bagpipes and all Irish music, like the chieftains! 4. I want to learn how to play a didjeridu. 5. I look exactly like my half-sister, even though we only share a dad. 6. It bugs me when people say I look just like my half-sister. 
