  My cat is the biggest stuck up spoiled bitch in the world. She insists on hanging out in my roommates room - thus, shedding her long, thick fur all over and especially where she sleeps. Yet when my roommate tries to be friends (play, pet her, feed her) my cat turns up her nose and gives her the stinkface.
My cat knows she has annoyingly long fur and will hide when she sees me coming with the brush. I'm not abusive, rough, or mean when I brush her. And when I'm done, to rub in the fact that I Am So Abusive, she hides behind the stereo and gives my friends (and me) pity-me looks. In the morning I wake up with just enough time to get ready and get to work on time. Sleep is good. Sometimes, I have a five minutes extra and so I play mouse with her. When I explain that I have to work so that she can eat premium food and shit in a box, she gives more pity-me looks. Friends come over and she acts scared, like she can only hang out with me. Somewhere along the lines of her upbringing, she got the notion that she is royalty.
That she deserves constant attention and love... What have I done to create such a selfish little bitch-cat? Is there anything I can do to curb this behavior? I'm just glad she's not related to me or I'd actually feel responsible for this type of behavior. In other (yet slightly related) news, I'm going to Whistler this weekend and Gin's going to KY, and that can only mean one thing: The Cat Will Suffer. She will be alone for over 24 hours and hopefully will think we deserted her, so when I return she isn't such a little cunt. Did I mention I hate ASP? Well I do. 
