  was it the ghost of christmas? or a malicious entity or indigestion? whatever that was.. it sure scared the heck out of me. well.. not that much but it IS creepy i just finished Nicholas Spark's book "The Guardian" Its the story of a widow who finally got on to living a life, four years after her beloved husband's death. She had the pick of 2 men, a dashing engineer and a downright nice guy and old friend. It turns out the dashing engineer was a psychotic stalker.. and the old friend was the soulmate.
Everything rolls down to the end of the story, and the dog, who was a gift of the late husband to Julie(widow) saved the day and guarded her to the last second of his life. Sort of like a guardian angel nice.. very nice. it made my cry Hmm.. a few days ago, i watched Lord of The Rings, featuring the infamous gollum. Smeagol. Deagol. Or whatever.
The movie was phenomenal. It made me laugh, made me grip the cinema seats with fear and anticipation. It made me applause and whoop the adventures of the heroes. It pulled my heart at those memorable moments, specially when Denethor denied his son, when the princess slew the dragon, and when a friend did not give up despite rejection and betrayal. Ah... and it made me wonder at gollum: his multiple personalities and his battle with himself. Anyway, just a few hours (?
) ago (December 25 3 pm).. i fell asleep in my room after finishing the book The Guardian. i was flat on my back and hugging my body pillow with my right arm. i think my head was facing my right side as i slept. I was dreaming something i can't remember when i suddenly had the impression i wasn't alone. I was rising above the stupor of sleep.. trying to think where i was. Was i in mama and papa's room?
was she beside me? i felt an arm behind my neck.. as if supporting my head.. and i felt a presence by my right side. then i felt something touch my lips, as if somebody's tentatively kissing me. i felt teeth.. and slight probing of a tongue. at first i thought what a strange dream. it felt real...could this be real?
i was swimming out of unconsciousness and my mind was racing.. i was stock still.. and for a moment i had that icky feeling that it could be mama? EWWWWWWWWWWWW! i know! but in my muddled brain i thought.."who else could it be? THAT'S DISGUSTING!! while i was being lightly kissed, i thought "shit if its true THIS IS SO EMBARASSING/DISGUSTING/ACCKKK*VOMIT*" and then i remembered I AM IN MY ROOM ALONE, AND I FELL ASLEEP ALONE IN MY ROOM AFTER READING.
i cracked open my eyes after that kiss.. and i saw a hand in front of my face(the hand looked it belonged to a young woman.. or was i looking at my own hand? *scratches head*). it matched my impression of having an arm behind my neck.. i cannot see a face. only a silhouette of somebody by my side. then i felt IT touching my lips again but i pulled back. i think it got angry.. and i felt paralayzed.
was there someone in my room?? a burglar?? a rapist?! IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME...and my whole body began buzzing. my hearing was like i was inside my body, i could hear my blood rushing, my heart pounding.. and i cannot move. there was a heavy weight across my body.
more specifically, the right side of my body where whatever that was leaning. i remembered the book.. how that psychotic stalker attempted to rape/kill the heroine. i thought.. im going to die?!?! i remember that i cannot fully open my eyes.. like it was stuck in a crack. i remember feeling helpless, i cannot move.. like i was wrapped in a net. i remember feeling cold.. i remember feeling i want to wake up but i can't.
the weight on my body was pulling me. i struggled for a few seconds, but it felt like it was longer. it was like i was underwater.. like i was clawing uselessly and i cannot reach the surface. whatever it was.. it was heavy.. my body was slack and i felt dull needles pricking every point of my skin when i tried to move. and it was not just dead weight on top of me. it was a malevolent being.
i was suffocating and i thought it was the end of me. at one point i stopped fighting it. but then it began whispering. i can see a shadow on top of me. something in a gollum like voice. i think it said "im better than you" im not sure.
its voice was garbled. gollum-like and i fought it again. i managed to rise up to consciousness.. and like an evil fog, whatever it was.. it disappeared.. swept away, gone.. to whatever nook it came from. creepy i tell you it wasnt human. it wasnt a solid breathing living man. it was either a dream/nightmare(or daymare coz it happend 3 in the afternoon) or it was indigestion.
but all i had to eat at lunch was 6 quail eggs and a cup of rice. and chocolate brownies. and chocolate and bituka ng manok it must be indigestion. it happened before. once or twice? but i only felt i was being choked.
This time, it spoke. maybe everything was just a figment of my imagination.. just fueled by Lord of The Ring's gollum.. and that crazy villain in Spark's book. After all, i just finished reading the book. It could have been connected. The mysteries of the brain... But it sure felt real.. and it was creepy i stood up immediately.
i told papa about it, leaving out the part about being kissed. i told him i was being choked by something and someone whispering like gollum. i told the story like i believe it was just a dream.. like i wasnt that scared.. only freaked out a bit. he told me it could have been that i ate too much and slept right away. i should pray to st benedict. i texted ahia.. and forgive me diary for even mentioning his name again.. i texted jeff.
but of course he didnt reply. he's probably asleep and/or wants nothing to do with me. or i got the number wrong. i erased his name from my phonebook and i punched down a number im not sure is his. as with ahia.. he replied that he was home. i texted him.. trying my best to tell him what happend through text.
but i didn't call. papa was using the phone (chatting up with an old friend) and he didn't reply back. what was i expecting? he's just an ofismate whom i got to get chummy only lately. its not like we're close or anything. just him crossing my mind.
thought he would understand or would be interested. i want to call others and tell them a creepy story, but its as if they'd care. o even if i would even attempt to. its weird when i call them. they expect that we should talk nightly and exchange stories and i'll feel obligated to talk to them coz they listened to me. im as bad as gollum i know, but i don't like talking over the phone unless im absolutely interested with that person.
talking is so tiring.. listening is doubly tiring... blogging is definitely better. hayy.. hope i fall asleep right away later tonight 
