  oh yeah! a brand new year, brand new beginnings for all! while the clock struck 12 midnight, i was talking on the phone with my friend and it was then that i realize how unexcited i am about the upcoming new year. sad case isn't it? it's a brand new year and i'm sulking away about it. didn't even wanna watch the count down show, it seemed like a facade.
everyday can be a new year if u want it to be, why bother making this one day so different from the rest? wun it be better if we took everyday to be a brand new year, brand new beginnings for all?? forgive me, that was the sour me talking. new year day came and passed just like that. so quickly and so swiftly...dunno what to make of it too. forget it.... anyway, back to last nite.
i was just sitting around doing nothing after i hung up so i decided to do a 'NEW YEAR DAY REFLECTION' , to which i found really surprising coming from me. i hate doing reflections, it makes me look bad and reminds me of the bad stuff that happened and my failures. nevertheless, i still did it and i'm glad i did. it gave me time to think about my life, where i wanna be heading in future and what i wanna do in future. although it was a lil' sour going through my mistakes and faults, i had fun poking fun at myself and i've decided that i'll start off my new year on a fun and happy note rather than a sour one. so here goes, my new year reflection.... year 2003 had been a rather frightful year, especially with the O levels and all but i muz say i had fun and enjoyed it too.
first up, 2003 taught me the value of time and the value of friends and that it was alright to be vulnerable sometimes. throughout the whole of last year, there were a lot of times where i couldn't possibly have gone on if i hadn't got my friends with me. to lend me their shoulders when i get too burdened by my surroundings and an out reached hand, ready to pull me up wheni fall. i also learnt the meaning of value for money, or in this case, value for time. after all the freaking effort i've put into my band, we finally managed to get a medal. it wasn't wad i had wanted but it was wad i had expected.
we could have done better most definately, but i guess to a certain extend it was good enuf that we got a medal. mayb i should learnt o be less demanding and less of a perfectionist...haha, i'm pretty sure many people will agree with this statement. i'm a very demanding perfectionist, not a total perfectionist but yeah, still one. i'm pretty sure it'll make a lot of people's lives easier. didn't spend enough time studying last year, so i dun think i'm gonna do very well for my Os...promise that i'll work like shit next year once i get into the sch of my choice, which is most probably gonna be a poly. i'm gonna do mass communications or business.
i so promise to work my butt off to make it to the top and get into the uni. the 2nd saddest thing about 2003 is that i still failed to get a boyfriend...*sobz..* yeah, sad rite?! haiz...think its got something to do with the way i look...especially when i dun smile. the feedback i get is that i look too proud and stand offish...! *sobz* not my fault, really. i just happen to not like smiling a lot, that's all.
never mind, resolution no.4, smile more for this year! =) i've got to learn to be more open and friendly lah....otherwise i doubt i'll ever get a boyfriend..(wahahahaha!! ) =) ok, i'm smiling more this year... not onli so, i gotta learn to be more open with my thoughts and feelings too!! andi is right, i built a wall around myself to keep myself from being hurt by people, but its also preventing people from knowing me and me from knowing them. so yeah, its time for the wall to go...can't break it down all at once, but i can try slowly...hey, they didn't break the Berlin Wall down in one night you know? ok, mayb they did but it was also after much struggle and much lost that the wall finally came down,so yeah...i'm picking it up soon.
its not gonna be easy but i'm sure i'll make it. hey girl! have confidence in urself! another thing that i wanna do is to fulfill my wish to tour!! yeah! talked to kim hock last night, we gonna go tour malaysia next june...before poly starts...!
wahahaha....mayb go look for more people to go also, more fun mah. although touring malaysia is like no biggie but it is already a big step for me...gotta take things easy remember? relax a lil' and be less demanding. i'll start with malaysia then then next year thailand, then china, then taiwan, then the world!! haha...nah, my no. XX resolution for the year, travel more.
yeah, gonna try and save as much as i can then go travel every year... haha! yeah, travel every year. not the package tours that like cost a bomb lah, i'll go free and easy, go back packing... ;) sounds like fun right?? yeah, it has been a long tern dream of mine already, but i was too young before so i couldn't fulfill it, but now, i'm 16 going on 17, i think my folks trust me well enough to travel on my own... resolution no. XX+1, get a digital camera before i go travelling, one with all the works and stuff. i wanna go take pictures of the places i've visited, enlarge my photo collection.
most the shots i've taken so far are all centralised in singapore. i call them the 'Images Of Singapore Through My Lens' next up, gonna enlarge the collection and call it, 'The World Through My Eyes' haha...i know the name is a lil' cliche but i like it, too bad. Resolution no. (XX+1)+1, i'll be less stubborn and be a lil' more tactful... lolx =D kinda hard la, but i can always try can't i? hrm, think its about time i curb my stubbornness...it can cause quite a lot of trouble sometimes...and being a lil' more tactful would most definately help in everyday life too. hiya, in short, i wish to be a better person for this year la!
i'll learn to appreciate the lil' things in life and learnt to love life more with each passing day. people come and people go, instead of feeling bitter, i'll learn to be thankful for the things that they have brought into my life and the lessons that they have taught me so well. for this new year, i'll learn to love the Arts more, any aspect of it. =) a few black sheeps aren't worth sacrificing my love for the Arts. let it be music, dance or stage, they are all different people's ways of expressing themselves. i guess the Arts is the freedom of expression of the individual.
i'll learn to appreciate that expression and love that freedom. ok, think i'll just stop here...my reflection is getting to be really long. lolx =D think this is gonna be a pretty good year ahead so, HAPPY NEW YEAR blog! 
