  I'm about to drop it, all of it actually. I'm going to tell you what is going on with me. Ahmad, Sonia, Eliza, Chassidy, and Brandon. I'm sorry if I said something that ever hurt you guys feelings, I'm sorry for ever hurting anyone of you guys. From step one, today, I went to Ahmads locker, he wasn't at it, so I hung around, then out of no where I saw some dreeds just bumping down the hallway, hmm who is it, it's Rashad(brother of Ahmad. ) Rashad came and hugged me, said hello, I said hey.
Ahmad just looked at me and walked past me, he went to his locker, I walked behind him. I said HEY AHMAD I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. He started beating his had on the locker and started to wine a bit. Which I don't blame him. Then I was just trying to tell him how sorry I was. Then he gave me a hug, and I told him,I'M GOING THOUGH RIGHT NOW, SO WHAT EVER I SAID I'M SORRY.
He said it was ok, I told him IF I CURSED ONLINE I'M SORRY FOR THAT. I had to go to St. Mary's Hospital so I told him I had to get going. He told me to write him. I wrote him, I'm not going to tell what's in the letter, because that is just between us. See, me and Ahmad got it like that. He wrote me back and I read the letter, he made me laugh in some parts.
LOL you a fool ahmad. He made me feel pretty good. Now for the important stuff, I haven't been talking to people lately. NO one like I wanted to actually. Like I said you guys, its not about you, it is straight just about me. I don't know who I am, I don't know where I'm going to end up.
I'm just going through some stuff right now. Don't try to cheer me up except ELIZA because she is the only one that actually can do that. Other than that don't try to cheer me up it wont work. Just continue to pray for me, because I need it. Umm more on me to let you know a little bit more. Like I said I don't know who I am, I probably never will.
Like Eliza said, no one knows who they are. I am mad at me. Why am I mad at me? Hmm well good question guys, well, I don't really know. See, that is it, I don't know. I don't know why I'm mad at me.
I thought I knew last night, but no it wasn't it. It is something else. It's not you, its only me. It's just me. All me, All about me. Nothin but me.
I am not depressed, or oppressed. I don't even think I'm stressed. I don't know what it could be I really don't. I just know that I need something more then I have, I know I want something more then I have, its more of a spiritual think rather than an emotional thing. I feel that I'm seeking for more, but its not there. The way I feel is like I'm seeking what ever it is I'm seeking, and I'm getting mad at myself, because I think I'm a mess up because I'm not getting what I want.
(spiritually. ) I just get on my nerves, it feels like I'm tired of me, I'm descussed at myself, because I'm not getting what I want. It bugs me because I'm not getting it. I know, it probably sounds pretty complicated, but if it does, I'm sorry. It's just the way I feel. Shout ins(the opposite) Eliza- I love you very very much just like education is fundamental, you are essential.
I love you so much I don't know what I would do without you. I PICKED OUT THE SKIN FOR THE BLOG SO PLEASE SHOW ME WHAT TO DO AFTER THAT. Sonia- I love you too. Sorry about the other blog, and how I acted I hoped I explained it to you a little more, I didn't mean to make you mad either. Ahmad- Thanks for being there for me, you are essential to me too. Love you also.
Brandon- I don't say much about you because, if I talk about you then I really wont have time for the important things, just playing you just are so much to talk about so I just dont write much, because if I write I wont stop typing. For everybody else I missed, that probably means I'm feed up with all the spit you dish out. sorry hunnies PEACE 
