  R - E - S - P - E - C - T I'm realizing that in my marriage I have for too long thought "Why should I? " instead of "Why shouldn't I? " Why should I listen to more of Diamond's music? Sure, I like a couple of the ones she's played, but I've also thought a few of them are too weird and lack melody. "I don't want to like music from people who also make weird, nonmusical stuff like that" has been a driving force behind my constant derision of her favourite artists.
Why shouldn't I give these artists more of a chance? Music is important to Diamond, and I am learning that opening up to new things is not a bad thing. I'm enjoying a lot of the brand new things I've come to discover over the past week. Why should I make a big deal about her birthday? She's turning 25, she's grown up, we're tight on cash, and birthdays weren't that big a deal to me, and I turned out okay (or so I thought.. hmm... ). Big whoop.. another day, another year. No one ever feels a year older than they did the day before, and too much ruckus about it is totally pointless. Why shouldn't I make a big deal about her birthday? It's fun, it's one of those rare occasions where you can have a party with lots of friends and have a blast.
We can't do it every week, but maybe the rarity is what makes it special. Most of her friends are my friends, too, and I enjoy being around them. We both enjoy that look in her dad's face on Christmas morning, but come to think of it, I've never inspired that kind of ecstatic joy on her birthday, or Christmas for that matter. Why should I stick around Oklahoma after I finish classes just so she can drag out the "goodbye" process?
Sure, I have friends here, but that's no reason to cause delays in plans we've had for two years now. It's not a "can't move now" issue, it's a "don't want to move now" issue, and a rather illogical one at that. Why shouldn't we stick around Oklahoma for a little while after graduation? We don't have enough money to move back now anyways, and my getting a job could alleviate some of the tension between Diamond and I as well as bring in some extra moving money.
She's under a lot of stress right now, and moving would only bring more stress to the situation. These are the biggies on my mind right now - there are others, and I'll toss them into a new post as I think of them, or am made aware of them. 
