  "Have we an ocelot? " asked Leland this morning, while I was doing my sun salutations. Stupid Leland. We continue to hate him and wonder why he has not been removed by the Duchess long before now. She can't have forgotten us? "Have we an ocelot? " Leland asked again. However much I wished I could ignore him, I have learned over the past months that if Leland is not immediately gratified in any of his requests he becomes Belligerant and then he becomes Recalcitrant and then he becomes Violent and Rude. "No. No ocelots, Leland," I replied, dropping into Downward Dog pose. Leland always laughs at me when I do this pose.
He did again this morning. "Ha! Your bum's up in the air. " I found it to be a bit too much that Leland could make the same silly observation every morning for seven weeks and still find amusement in it. I was about to say something very very snarky, when I received a most alarming message cocunut delivery from the Monkey Mail. "Hey, what's that? " yelped Leland, taken aback by the message-bearing coconut missile fired into our treetop home by the long, slim arm of a local macaque.
"It's private," I scowled, huddling in a corner to open what turned out to be my very crumpled and well-traveled invitation to the Espionage Ball. Oh! What to do, dear Diary, what to do? To finally be invited but to only receive the invitation 48 hours before the event and to be trapped on an island in the South Pacific, my only hope of catching a ride to the Ball being to wait for the Duchess to toodle back around on her pleasure yacht and remove her obnoxious cousin and then possibly take enough pity on me to give me a lift.
It was a beauteous and tragic morning all at once. And it was only to get more confusing. "Hello, what's that? " exclaimed Leland turning away from me and towards something on the beach. "What's what? " I inquired. He stood tall and wide, blocking my view with his impressive physique. "It's private," he sneered. I stomped on his bare foot with my wooden clog and as he screamed and dropped to the treehouse floor, a Magnificent Sight was revealed to me.
A small craft, manned by three unshaven but otherwise healthy looking individuals, had landed on the beach. Finally! An opportunity for International Diplomacy. I darted to my hope chest and, with great alacrity, drew out my dress white uniform. Off of which all the beautiful gold braid trim had been chewed. Blast and bugger the insufferable monkeys! 
