  *Now Begin Longest Blog Ever* (for me anyways) Where to begin? A real quick side note is how Pop and I took advantage of the Cock Block. We proceed to interfere with DQ's attempt to get some with some Alpha Gam by walking into his room and making small talk. After a good five minutes about arguing about the Sox vs Cubs, Dan finally breaks down and hands over his bottles of Jameson and Jim Beam, making us very happy as we got to drink more. Lesson of the story? If you need alcohol, go Cock Block someone...Try it, and if it doesn't work, I will buy you a beer.
Trust me, any guy will part with his alcohol if it means he will have relations with a female. So why not go back to Friday, as that is where I left off. So yeah, after being surprisingly not hungover on Friday, I played videogames all day with the boys, as planned. I also did some cleaning while rocking out to The Darkness. Damn. It was some heavy rocking out too. Definitely a new CD I want for Christmas... Initiation was fun, although Pop kinda took off after a fight with Nino, but I think they were both being tools and overreacting. Just my call. That night, Nino comes to me and asks me to be the keynote speaker for the banquet on Saturday, and that was nice, considering I had half a night to think about what I would say, and that half a night was occupied by initiation itself.
Oh joy. So the banquet rolls around and I make my oh so wonderful speech about living in the lodge and what it has meant to me and stuff like that. So anyways, afterwards, we hang out, get to know the new kids, aaaaaaaand basically start drinking. Me, Steve, Maureen, Justin-credible (Tarnhoff), and Jacquie start playing Scrabble. Real quick, if you don't know who Jacquie is, she is Seyller's incredibly hot girlfriend who is 18 and went to LT, and I just thought I should mention that she is incredibly hot because she is going out with Seyller, who as we all know, is not hot, but definitely the funniest man I know.
But I digress... Jacquie and I were on a team (as she had never ever played Scrabble before), and everyone else was flying solo. I was sucking as usual, until I saw an opportunity for a 40 point word using the triple word score and the Q-u that I had stored up, only to have it taken by Justin, and Team Muff gets destroyed the rest of the game. But the game never quite made it to the end, because as we were playing, we all did 4 shots of Goldschlager (which PERFECTLY killed the bottle) and 2 shots of Jager. So needless to say, by the time the bag was out of letters, we were out of braincells. Words were made up and disputions were ended in a wrestling match.
So we were drunk after that, and all I remember was going up to Gibbles' room to watch some porn. Somehow, Bosche came in with a cock ring that ended up in my possession. I think its unused, I pray its unused, and since Bosche wouldn't know what to do with it (hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha! ), I'm pretty darn sure it was unused. So now I have a nice cock ring to never use because I dunno, it would just be too funny to me.
Drunken e-mailed Sammy, then off to White Horse for the I-party. After drunkenly scarfing down a chicken sandwich and some cheese fries that I bought the table, I start drinking pitchers of beer. While occasionally pouring a cup for someone else, I did go through 3 pitchers, which meant I probably drank a lot. After the keg went dry, I bought a pitcher for myself and called it a night in the drinking department. So then I was hanging out with the new kids, asking them more annoying questions you hear from some guy who you will only see a few times a year, and around 1:15ish, I hear those words that every young adult dreads hearing... "Oh fuck...
Police! " Instinctively, I grab for Andrew's beer (a new-I) and start sipping on it, wondering if it will come back up on me, as I was fading fast. As our little tiny get-together gets busted by Champaign's finest, I was asked for ID by at least 4 of the 10 cops who were there. I was sitting at the table with May who was reveling in the fact that this was his first official night as our #1. "Shit... This is just what I need..." He repeated over and over. I felt bad for little Kolman too who got pulled aside with an actual drink. Baddison lived up to his name, as he didn't say a word to the cops. Two girls who I don't know got busted (friends of Kolman's) but then Kristen got busted too. This is one of Tim's friends, and basically the nerves got to her, and when the cops asked for her license, she puked all over them. Nice touch. The cops thought she was wasted beyond belief, but she was actually only a bit drunk, but just so freaked out, she spewed. A good three times too. I would have gone to all their rescue, but I played it cool, avoiding an adult responsibility ticket.
I was drunk, but my no means stupid. So back to the Lodge to end the evening. I come home and think about sleep until I hear lots of profanity coming into the Lodge. Its Andrew, so I go and try and console the dude. Only to find him laughing the whole thing off, but just pissed that it happened. He claims he wasn't worried, but really, I don't care how cool your parents are, I would be a bit nervous telling them what happened. Kristen comes in with Tim, Tim talks about his near obstruction of justice charges, and Kristen is bawling her eyes out screaming how her life is over.
I felt bad for her, but not that bad. I guess I'm just a cold hearted asshole. So consensus decided its time for a stack. Consensus was me, Andrew, BTC, and Brian's friend who I don't really know. So we walk to the Home of the Stack (and Horseshoe for those who know of the Stack's bastard half brother) and get some of the most disappointing stacks I have ever had. Small and the hash browns were burnt. I could have cried and sworn off them for good right then and there... but nah. I decided to pay for Andrew's stack, because he has to put up with a $280 ticket and because I'm such a nice guy...
So walked home and crashed. I made the error of not drinking any more water before bed, and Sunday morning I suffered. Sunday was spent trying to feel human again and watching the Bears suck on more balls than a... well, I wont say it because I'm a gentleman, and referencing a 14 year old Saigon hooker is just tasteless. My stomach was angry at me. Very very angry. But I did feel better by about 4:00 after a nice long hot shower. After some video game playing and hanging out, I wanted to go see the Last Samurai, but was vetoed to sit down and watch Pirates of the Caribbean and drink Pearl Harbors to commemorate the naval activities of the past (yes, yesterday was in fact Pearl Harbor Day).
By the way, Pearl Harbors are one hell of a martini. Its vodka, midori (melon liquor), and pineapple juice. Yummy. I was ok with such events. That ends up with today. Woke up, hung out till lunch, paid my debt to the University (a whopping $5.27), and came home. Nice drive. Lots of cops, but since I had already ran into a whole lot of them earlier this weekend, fate smiled upon me and TWICE I saw the guy ahead of me get pulled over.
Made it home in exactly two hours and used a whole stinking quarter of a tank of gas. Went to Tae Kwon Do for the first time in over a week, and it felt great, although I'm feeling very apprehensive about my back. Had bone damage, had muscle damage, but never nerve damage. Maybe I should go easy on this one. Master Park was a bit upset about the hundred bucks I gave him, as its a bit smaller than my usual payment. The fact that I have to pay about $700 in tuition in a week and its Christmas means the cash reserves are running a bit low. Thankfully, the zoo work these next couple of weekends will keep me floating, but I finally think its time for a new job. Yes, you have all told me, and yes, I will finally do it now because I'm temporarily done with class and can handle working again. As I have proven this quarter, working nearly full time and taking 15 credit hours makes life very tough, especially when you have many many more responsibilities.
So anyways, Master Park gave me my Christmas present from Korea, and this year it wasn't a calendar... IT WAS A TIE!!! I mean, I got the cooler gift cause I'm a black belt and I help out a lot now, so you get better presents the more stuff you do. But the tie is actually kinda cool and I will upload a picture of it if I figure out how to do that. Although I never could wear it ever with anything I own. But its the thought that counts, right? So that brings me here, and I think I'm spent... 
