  john ashcroft says there is a 'credible' al-qaida threat to the US in the next few months. sources say that in a week, the threat will be identified as john kerry, who will then be shipped to a secret military prison on the international space station, where geneva conventions clearly do not apply.
urlLink avril thinks she's brilliant. kelly osbourne lectures on the evils of drugs. blah blah blah. people may be able to get urlLink face transplants soon! this surgery is only intended for people who are severely disfigured (for instance, those monkey-faced twins who played "michelle" on full house ). and speaking of people and lower primates, here's an article on urlLink human DNA vs. chimp DNA .
last night, i dreamed i got a new keyboard for my computer (my current one has wiring problems due to being dropped a lot, so maybe that's why it was on my mind). anyhow, this keyboard was the most ridiculously designed thing EVAR. it had way too many additional buttons, and they wanted themto be customizable, so you had to put the appropriate sticker ("my documents" or "my music" or "my bacon") on the button you wanted.
the stickers didn't stick very well. then, the buttons were secured by velcro in case you changed your mind in the future. also, it was about 2x as big as a normal keyboard. i highly recommend that you *don't* purchase this model. in the real world, i'm considering going wireless, but (a) i don't really want to be changing batteries all the time, and (b) it's a recipe for disaster -- i'll take the mouse with me when i answer the phone, and i'll set it somewhere and i won't find it for months.
"how the hell did *this* end up in the freezer?! " here's the urlLink winner of the swan . rui's trying to get one of the networks interested in her reality show idea. it's called last ham standing . various people compete to see who can go from glam to ham the fastest without ending up in the hospital. in addition to junk food and sedentary activities, the show will provide plastic surgery to worsen contestants' looks, dental reconstruction to british-ify their teeth, and counseling to destroy any self-esteem the person might have.
and i'm glad the media is finally acknowledging urlLink things like this . and urlLink this . ugh. i'm hungry, but i have a meeting in a few minutes so i can't go get food. and there's another meeting after that. it'll be 3PM before i can assuage my hunger! 
