  Victory: My truck, 240 lbs. of sandbags over the rear axles, parks victoriously. Never again will I take for granted the ability to park in my employee parking lot. Never. I am also not a fan of the cop who put a 48-hour tow notice dayglo orange sticker on my truck window when I parked on a side street. Note: Those things are really hard to get off. Mine's still kind of on, with the dayglo orange part haphazardly picked off. Emphasis on picked . It wasn't even an emergency snow route, Dude. Chillout. Check-out the coffee shop on Main Street and breathe deeply.
I'll bring you some bread, along with the two guys who came along rescuing me with chains and four-wheel drive. B. in payroll things men troll the streets for girls like me. I'm OK with that then as long as they're saving me and being chivalrous and not seedy. Leon Russell is in town. What would I do to hear him? *Bake him 1,000 cupcakes. Ice each one with a soul- flavored frosting dyed purple with a music note, perhaps, stuck in the middle. *Make him a t-shirt with my favorite phrase: "Embrace Your Inner Dork..." And then add on the back of said t-shirt, "...& Leon Russell.
" *Buy him a Diet Dr. Pepper from the vending machine down the hall and Vanilla Yogurt Bar from the office snack box for every morning he's in town. I'm that generous. M-wuh, to my devoted readers. M-wuh, m-wuh, m-wuh. 
