  It is a good thing I don't live in New York because I'd either be drunk all the time or hungover all the time.
And broke to boot, since you can't help but shop there, there are too many stores. But New York is definitely a fun place to visit, even though I know too many people there so that I can't visit only one friend at a time, everyone else somehow knows when I'll be around. The grapevine is like on turbospeed. And I mistakenly told Nick that I was going to be in town. Well, no, I wanted to see him - but I wouldn't have, if I knew in advance how he'd be acting. It's gotten to the point where Nick has ceased to be amusing, and has crossed that line into the territory of being vastly annoying.
Let's do a play-by-play recall of the night. (Look, I'm using sports terms! All that damn basketball I've been forced into watching, I swear..) Michelle and I meet up with Nick at urlLink Bar Veloce - my choice, of course. We get wine. Nick consistently orders the same thing I'm getting. I actually say, "Why don't you get something different," and he says, "No, I think we should get the same thing.
" Bizarre. Have a mind of your own, already. Nick proceeds to get all touchy-feely in the "obviously we're dating" sort of way - except, we're not . Dating, that is. Nor have we ever, really. Michelle later asks me why I don't hit him. I tell her I feel sort of bad because he's a friend but if it happens again, that I'd see.
This becomes a recurring theme for the night. Michelle's trader friends meet us at Bar Veloce, and decide that this place isn't frat boy enough for their tastes. No matter, we go to urlLink Nevada Smith's , which is generally not a place I'd choose, but I don't really mind and I can't always get my way, it's not healthy. Based on the way Nick is treating me, they assume that he is my boyfriend. Boy are they wrong, and quickly I set them straight.
Then they say I should punch Nick the next time he touches me, and that they will pay good money if I do it. The rest of the night, anytime any of them catch me talking to Nick, they stand behind him and make punching motions. They are also incredibly amused by the fact that Nick has apparently decided to go by Nicholas. They spend the rest of the night referring to him as don't-call-me-Nick (example of its usage: "Hey, where's your friend, Nicholas, don't-call-me-Nick? ") and calling him Nick anyway. Nick tries to convince me that Nevada Smith's isn't the sort of place that I'd like, and that we should go back to Bar Veloce, just the two of us.
I ignore him. Nick decides that he only wants to talk to me. This is understandable, as I'm the only one in the group but he knows, but seriously. We're in a big group of people. I want to talk to the other people too. He gets pouty and goes and drinks at the bar for awhile. He spends much of the night making comments like, "when people are smart like you and me," in a pathetic attempt to have the both of us aligned on the same side.
I don't really get it. He then asks me if Michelle has a bed. Of course Michelle has a bed, what does she sleep on, the floor? He says that one of his roommates is out of town, and that I could sleep over in his apartment if I wanted to. It's a nice offer, but what do I look like, stupid? He says that his apartment is very nice - which is in stark contrast to last month, when he told me that his apartment was rather dorm-like. I call him on this, and he says that somehow over the course of a month it has magically transformed. After I turn down that request, he asks me where I'm going to be in the summer. Hello, Los Angeles, obviously.
He says that one of his roommates isn't going to be there over the summer, and that I should move in and that it would be a lot of fun if we lived together. I just look at him as if he were stupid. Which he is - stupid in this instance. After both those efforts fail, he asks me what I'm doing Saturday - which is leaving New York, which he knew. He says that I should stay in town, we'll meet for lunch and then go to the urlLink Whitney Museum .
I tell him that no, I really need to return to Providence, and that anyway, crankypants is going to come with me to the Whitney when we're back in May. Rather pugnaciously, he asks if crankypants likes modern art "as much as we do. " Note the use of the word "we" again. I roll my eyes and leave it at that. With this mention of crankypants, he asks how the two of us are doing. He looks extremely disappointed by the fact that we had a great time in Puerto Rico, and are going to both be in LA over the summer. I've been going out with crankypants for almost two years now. Get over it already. Then out of the blue, he says that he's not getting together with his ex-girlfriend, that she's not what he's looking for.
I ask him if she ever was what he was looking for, alluding to the time they dated senior year. He says that yes! they were incredibly happy for awhile. I want to be mean and remind him of the fact that he cheated on her several times that year with me, and also told me he'd break up with her if I wanted him to. However, I choose the tactful route - not as fun, perhaps, but we don't want to be rehashing any bad memories (for me, at least), and just lift an eyebrow which causes him to heavily protest that they were indeed happy.
Right, my ass. Finally, at 2:30AM he leaves to go home. Finally . However, this means that I'm subjected to a couple of kisses - on the temple, because I duck my head at the last minute, trying not to laugh at the punching motions some of the traders are making. I seriously thought he was going to last only 'til 1AM. Sigh. It's not like I've even been stringing Nick along - rather, I've been brutally honest with him the entire time. One of Michelle's trader friends asked if he could come to the dinner in May where crankypants and Nick get to meet.
He was very insistent that he should be invited, and gave me his phone number and email so I can contact him with the details. I can make this a sporting event and charge big bucks for tickets to this spectacle. The only thing is - will Nick even show up? Will his curiousity get the better of him? Or will he be too petulantly jealous to even make an appearance?
How will he react when he meets crankypants - did I mention that Nick is sensitive about his height (5'10, he claims, although I think he's adding an extra inch on there), and crankypants is 6'4? Hell, what will crankypants's reaction to meeting Nick be? He's heard most of the stories, how's he going to act? Are there going to be some fun macho caveman antics? All these questions - and more - will be answered in a couple of months. [cue anticipatory music, like the sort you hear on soap operas. ] 
