  Procrastinating on packing, as always, I decided to play on the internet because obviously that way my bag will magically get packed. I am sick to death of cold weather and don't want to wear anything with sleeves again. However, this is not feasible. Anyway, I came across urlLink this . Now, why would you want to IMPLANT SOMETHING UNNECESSARY IN YOUR EYE. Maybe it's just me, but I hold the eyeballs nearly sacrosanct. I didn't wear contacts for the longest time, preferring to look like a big dork in high school with glasses, because I was afraid of sticking things in my eye. When I was time, My piano teacher at the time had to have surgery because his contact rolled so far back in his eye it got stuck. Or at least, that's what I was told. Now, I realise that it was probably cataract surgery, but this still doesn't freak me out about contacts any less. I still live in perpetual fear that my contact will get stuck to my eye, and that it will take many lasers to get it out.
(Note: this nearly happened when I was in Rome. I have hard contacts, and I pulled my lid taut and blinked to pop it out, but it Didn't pop out. Rather, it moved to another part of my eye, and decided to stay suction-glued there. I - along with my roommate, the head RA and one of the professors - were up for 2 extra hours trying to get it out.
It wouldn't budge. Fed up with this, the professor - this was a study-abroad program in high school - decided to just go in with his fingers and fish it out. You have no idea how scared I was. I now have this little plunger-like device in case this ever happens again. ) Needless to say, with this phobia regarding things stuck in my eye - I just don't understand why you'd want to have a little heart implanted under your cornea.
Are there absolutely no other parts of the body left to deface? Plus, how did someone come up with this idea? I can just imagine it. Late - and obviously drunk - one night, Jack - oh wait, this was in the Netherlands, hm, I don't know any Dutch names - Gunther glanced over at Bertha in the dim candlelight. The bar was one of those dark speakeasy-type affairs and there was a saxophonist, warming up for a later performance, practicing his scales in the corner. The air was hazy with cigarette smoke, which just added to the easy feeling of slight drunkenness after a full night of laughing and drinking with friends. But now, it was just Gunther and Bertha, everyone else having made their way home ages ago. For the longest time, Gunther had had the biggest crush on Bertha. She was new to the area, having seemingly come from nowhere just a couple of months ago. He wasn't quite sure how she knew everyone, but somehow she did.
For the longest time, he had been scared to even utter a word to her, afraid that he would say something absolutely pathetic and she would just laugh in his face. He had only barely been able to stammer out a perfunctory greeting earlier this night, just awed by her exotic beauty. But now, it was just the two of them, and she was leaned back in her seat, looking over his shoulder with a bored expression on her face, and he knew it was up to him.
But what to say? As always in her presence, he was tongue-tied. And in the candlelight, her beauty just broke his heart. The light flickered over her face, and in a moment of near-genius, he gasped, "When the light dances like that, it looks like there's a heart in your eye. " Yes, this sounded as stupid as it reads. Bertha snorted, bored with his adolescent adoration, and stood up and strolled over to the saxophonist.
Utterly devastated, Gunther shrugged on his coat and left the bar, mentally berating himself for not coming up with something cooler to say. Years later, Gunther never forgot what he came to call "the lamest line in the world. " He never saw her along again, and several months later had to leave for university, and that was it. But he still never forgot how really, it had looked like there was a heart in her eye, for just a split second. As by this time he had become a relatively successful opthamologist, he always wondered if it would be possible to... really make it look like someone had a heart in her eye. And after years of experimenting - this had become his lifelong goal, still obsessed with his one-time love - he figured out a way to make it happen. Little did Bertha, who after years of smoking and drinking became a wrinkled old hag, know that this latest trend in eye jewelry was inspired by her. A wretchedly bad story for a wretchedly bad idea. It's only fair. 
