  Merry Christmas, blogger! In two hours the house will be not all that filled with family and flowing wine. The Grandparents as well as Uncle Jim and Aunt Amy are joining us for the first Christmas dinner in our house; should be a good time. For now, though, the fam's settling in with the new prezzies, Mom's trying to keep dinner under control and I'm hiding in my cave to reflect on it all. Snowed all night and this morning the sun's breaking through the leftover clouds. Yay.
Just read the Boy's sentimental Christmas Eve entry and am feeling a bit fuzzy myself. Started last night with the home movies. Joe's first Christmas was the best. Between watching him spit up, tip over Mom's coffee, follow the table knife around the old living room, and me screeching at each new wrapped wonder set before me, the whole thing was just the right amount of too much. He actually was a cute damn baby; too bad I was too young to stop tormenting him to notice. Had a few glasses of Merlot over at the New House.
Listened to Grandpa tell us about all his vintage Marilyn Monroe paraphenalia. He has an original, life-size poster of her, the original first issue of Playboy featuring her features on the cover, and the box of candy bearing her first commercial image. Told him he could get more money for those three things than he did for his house. He sold six boxes of vintage National Geographics for $100. I prefer not to think about it. Hopefully we'll (and by "we" I mean "I") get our hands on his pop culture relics before anyone else.
But it was nice to sit with them, helping them not be so lonely on their first Christmas Eve in 43 years outside their home. Looking forward to tomorrow. And the next day. There's nothing like spending lazy days on end with your best friend. We haven't done it for about three years, so it's only fitting it happens here again. Major revelations and unbreakable connections were make back then; can't wait to see what happens this round.
It's really the wrong day, date-wise, for this little passage, but it's just the mood I'm in today, okay? ...the day did come when they were both bored with each otherÃƒÂ‚&#146;s respective homes and sought external entertainment. They visited their old stomping grounds, checking in with favorite teachers and restaurants, but soon they were looking for something else to fill their day. Neither wanted to part ways, but neither knew what to else do. "Well, you wanna get some coffee? " he asked.
"And I imagine we have to get you a mocha, right? " "Damn right. Just deal. " He was restless as he stirred in his cream and sugar: "I don't really feel like sitting here and flipping through magazines. " "Ummm, okay ..." she carefully sipped her drink, deciding. "You wanna go for a drive around the winter wilderness?
Go admire the harsh beauty of it all? " "Hmmm ... harsh beauty ... that sounds good. " This was something she had yet to share with him: random, lazy drives. And something told her this would be an important one. It called for a special route. "So, where you taking me?
" His raised voice asked over the music as she took them into the mountains. "Oh, just in a big loop," she answered coyly. "We'll come to a point in a while where we'll have to decide if we want to come back right away or keep going. " It was a perfect day for either choice. By the time they reached the first peak and descended upon the rolling countryside, the sun had emerged, making January's latest snowfall impossibly bright, accentuated further by the baby blue sky. They let silence stand between them; let the music fill the emptiness, simply enjoying being in each other's presence.
Over the past few months, they'd discovered the wonder of wordplay. Their favorite toys were the truly offensive, derogatory-if-spoken-by-anyone-else types. "Why do you have to be so damn gay all the time? " was a staple. "Stupid fags, I swear! " was another.
They were a damn riot. Just ask them. So when he turned to her and said, "So, you've been waiting for me to come out, have you? " she jumped right on the joke-train and answered, "Yeah, that's right. Enough fucking around, it's time to admit it to yourself and everybody else," laughing all the while. "Okay, well ...
I'm gay. " "Oh really? " she laughed. "Really. " "Well, that's just super! Tell me, how long have you known?
" She continued to question him and mock his answers, never once believing he was serious. But soon she realized he wasn't laughing with her. And her stomach hit the floor. "Are you serious? " "I'm totally serious. " "No, really.
Are you really fucking serious? " "Really, I'm really fucking serious. " She pulled the car over, hoping he would start laughing or just say "Gotcha! " "Okay, really. Are you serious? Because either you're kidding or I'm a huge fucking asshole.
" "Well, then you're an asshole because I'm not joking. " Shaking, she pulled the car back onto the road. She asked him the same questions over again, this time mulling over the answers, trying to pull herself together to be the best friend she'd considered herself to be this past year. "I can't believe you're this surprised," he said. "Well, I honestly have never thought about it. I already know I have no gaydar, so that's no surprise.
When people in high school used to say, you know, 'Levi's so gay, just look at him,' I would be like: 'Oh come on you guys, he really isn't. Trust me, I know him pretty well. And even if he is, he has no idea. '" "I really didn't back then. " They took the long way home that day. Their AP English teacher once prophesied: "You two will know each other's grandchildren.
" It may have been a nice sentiment at first, but after the day of harsh beauty, it quickly became a promise. The winter break continued much the same way, only with a few more hugs and arms around each other's waists. Big sigh. So, I think the phone call will happen soon. Found myself thinking of opportunities last night. When I have the house to myself for an extended period of time, etc.
Don't want to make it on a tempermental cell phone in a semi-public setting. The best place and time is probably in the Moscow apartment upon my safe return. Just don't know that I want to wait that long, though. Wonder if that's a red flag all by itself. Finally feel ready to do it. Enjoyed the break and all, and am enjoying the knowledge that they can be taken whenever the need arises.
Might be a nice little Christmas present to us both. Think I'll email Crazy Aunt Karen now. She included her address in her card this year; apparently I'm the only member of the family she's cared to invite contact from. Must have been all those Thank-You cards through the years. Hmmm. This could be interesting, indeed.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Love you all; if I can't say it to each of you, know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best. 
