  So I'm stupid. So what. I just know got off the phone with Trevor and I decided to post again. I was reading Trevor's blog.. he's the only one who reads mine anymore so this is useless but here's the link anyway: www.mulletman584.blogspot.com So I was reading his blog... and he's talking all about how worried he is about me and that I'm hiding something.
Well, I was, and I realized I'd forgotten to discuss that here, on my own blog. My mom... it was a really bad weekend, really qutie bad. Just about the worst it's ever gotten with me. Now Tyler's had worse. Tyler got hit for a long time before I ever got hit. Used to be that I only got hit when I got in the way of Tyler and Mom. The first time I ever got hit myself without anyone else's interference was that night that I was so scared that I did call Anna and she persueded me to call Trevor simply because he had a car and could drive and could get me out of there even for a night. I was really really scared. I mean I was so scared I ended up calling Trevor from my bedroom, in my closet with blankets piled around me. That's how scared I was. Since then I've gotten hit some but it's never been that bad. To tell you the truth I've gotten hit just as bad, I jsut didn't scare me near as bad.
Not nearly as bad. I've called Anna a few times before hiding again. But I must not have been as scared sounding becasue Anna made me call Trevor that night; she's sugessted it since then but never insisted it so admantly. It's very sacrey. There have been times whne I just do not call anyone, Anna or Trevor or anyone because I don't want to anger her any more.
There have been times when I probably should have called Trevor when Anna suggested it, but I didn't. Trevor was worried, I don't know how it showed through, but it did appearently. And he got worried. I guess I just broke down because of what had happened the weekend before that. It got really bad again. I know I should have called someone, anyone. But I didn't. I didn't call Anna; I didn't call Trevor and most of all I didn't call my dad. That's the one thing that most stops me from calling anyone: that they'll bring me to my dad's. I do not want him to know.
He'll ask questions, he'll know things. He's manipulative and he'll try to get anything out of me. I know he'll get things out of me, some things that are true and some things that are stretched, like a lawyer leading a witness. That's not good. I know I should probably tell him something but I'm just no where near ready to do that yet. He sacres me. Mom scares me more though. I don't know what to do. Crap... I was happy. Now I've depressed myself again. Crapola. 
