  I wrote this in my previous blog before, but now, taking 15 mins to chase back those times past, i can't help but feel aggrieved that so much has come and gone and the many friendships, be it, superficial or deep, have all, but disappeared and has left behind half empty heart that will stay with me till the day I give an account to God. Can friendship last? The very question that every young kids will ask, well at least i did ask myself that, I don't know. Till today, i am still trying to figure out that. Seriously, simone once said, i was so different, she has lots of friends and she can't go on in life without friends, and i am the exact opposites, i survive without friends, has been without for a long time, maybe that's bad, i do not know, but at least i can avoid disappointing people or get disappointed. Think sometimes, i really do hope there is a group of friends, or rather a few, that i can be totally comfortable with. I do not think i have that group and it hurts to think i have no friends, or no one really count me as a friend.
Hey! Is this friendship thing carried too far off now? Hmmm, am i being overwhelmed by the all good good friendship how i miss it thing? Manz! I miss those times spent in church, in the basketball court, at macdonalds playing chess pooling together coins to get a packet of fries, playing hide and seek underground at the basement, all the youth camps i've been on, all the fun times at sunday school outings, the camp at sembawang, the 10 years or so friendship where we see each other from primary school, to secondary school to tertiary education and some now, married, others have passed on to meet God.
Maybe it is true, i am really not worth a friend to have; and i pray that even in this lonely walk, i can explain to simone how i really feel at times, except that she doesn't really understand what i am going through. Somethings are just meant to be taken and kept inside... and those will stay there. 
