  Nobody will ever say that I have boring parties. This Fourth of July has proven that point without a doubt. The day started out like any other. Cleaning, cooking preparing for the friends to arrive. In true redneck style we set the part up in the driveway fire pit included. Thing started as soon as the keg was tapped. People were drinking and mulling around catching up with friends and then The Boyfriend pulled out the bottle rockets, as if to state "let the madness begin". BIT OF MADNESS NUMBER ONE Please do not point fireworks towards a crowd of people!! The Fireman thought it might be an interesting thing to shoot a bottle rocket in the direction that the non firework people were sitting. He must have forgotten that the yard is full of rocks. That crazy bottle rocket shot strait out hitting a rock on the ground, bouncing off the rock and burnt someone on the leg and then landed and exploded right behind poor little me. My ears are still ringing. BIT OF MADNESS NUMBER TWO Just because you saw it on urlLink Jack Ass does not mean that you should do it in my front yard. Dumbass had obviously never seen the beginning of the show, where they warn people to "Not try this at home" because the next thing I know his pants were down and there were bottle rockets sticking out of his ass.
Lucky for him one of his friend was right near by with a lighter and more than happy to light it for him. BAM bottle rockets flying from his bum. It smelled really bad like hair. When I get my hands on the video I will post it for all you loyal readers to view it is a sight to behold.
This is right at the point where Mama Luba made a new rule. No more fireworks until it was dark. MADNESS NUMBER THREE Being a good neighbor is something I will no long try out. As darkness fell the boys were itching to light more stuff in fire. The fire pit in the driveway was already lit and it did not make nearly enough noise so I gave the go ahead to light some more stuff off as long as they kept the fireworks away from Dumbasses, well, ass. As they began the war of the fireworks with the peeps across the street a figure appeared in the driveway.
He explained to me that he lived up the street and wanted to watch the fireworks with us. Okay neighbor come on into our patio party. I am very neighborly when I am a little bit tipsy. They stranger who appeared normal at first began to speak to people at the party. This was the point when everyone there started to wonder where this guy came from and what the hell was wrong with him!! Here are a few bits that were worth while. Tid Bit Number One Stranger: I have schizophrenia but I am on medication. Luba: Oh..... Tid Bit Number To Luba: I work in Shelton Stranger: Oh I bought a car in Shelton. Drove it to Georgia, went into a crack house, smoked crack, when I came out they had stolen my car. Luba: Oh... Sorry to ah hear that...umm- Tid Bit Number Three Stranger: Hey are you a cop? State Trooper (in uniform): Yes.
Strange: I got put in jail for 23 months. State Trooper: I had nothing to do with that. Tid Bit Four Stranger: I came here on the underground rail road, with Tubbs. Group: You mean Harriet Tubman Stranger: Yeah Tubbs, you know she's my friend. Holy Crap I am changing my running route immediately. I am changing it to my parents house across town! This way Fourth of July party never to be forgotten by all that attended. 
