  Random, scattered thoughts. Walking back from the square, there was a man reading from the scripture at the top of his voice. "FIRST TIMOTHY..." (flips pages). He just kept on flipping. I wonder if he was really going to read from first Timothy or if he was just crazy.
I don't know how to deal with panhandlers. There's always someone outside CVS and yes, I do have pennies I could get rid of, but why should I give it to them? It's not a matter of the worth of the pennies. I just see them puffing away on cigarettes (or something else less innocuous, but who knows) and eating. Maybe I'm just one of those cynics who don't believe in welfare. I'd rather give money to a hobo who really looked like they were trying to improve their situation instead of sitting outside somewhere jiggling a Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup and entreating you to donate "spare change..." (repeat). There was also a pretty complete band in the pit tonight. People were dancing around with their arms in the air and the tamer ones were just gathered around. It's kind of sad, since I imagined we'd do little things if Ryan were in town...sit on the steps of the pit when it wasn't too crowded, just visit places. It's really nice outside now for humid weather. Jenn and I walked back from the concert through the yard, and it was just this humidity that enveloped you and made you feel like everything in the world was all right.
I also saw the assistant concertmaster on the fringes of the pit crowd, carrying her violin. Maybe I miss orchestra. It's just something about belonging. For some reason, I've been thinking about churches lately. Maybe it's because we stepped inside three today on the Freedom Trail...I'm really fascinated by the pews in the Catholic church. I wish I could sit like that. That'd almost be worth sitting through a service. Maybe the thing that bothers me about going is the collection. I wonder why I'm so reluctant to fork over a $5 when I can justify spending so much more on other things.
Maybe it's because I don't believe in it. Maybe it's because I thought tonight's orchestra concert was worth five dollars and an hour at church isn't. I understand giving to the church, but I don't understand why I should, when I'm not even sure what my beliefs are. Are people in college towns always in couples? I see them all over the place. I think so...the place is full of twentysomethings. That makes sense. Maybe that's another slight reason I want to get out of here. So I don't have to see couples.
I'm just really bored today. Tonight. I got another bottle of water, Triscuits and snack bars since I'm randomly hungry (I stole Adam's pot roast, but in my defense, Charlie only told me it was Adam's after I'd microwaved it) and I probably need to drink more water to stave off this cold. I keep on checking the buddy list, and it's the same people online. It's not discontent, but I wonder where this sudden bad humor came from.
Am I just crazy when I think that some people just shine with authority, talent, and all around good-person-ness? 
