  It's a bit past nine and nobody's online worth talking to, so I take it as a sign that I should just go to bed anyways. I am worn out, and I can't attribute it to anything else but sleeplessness and now sickness (as if that weren't reason enough! ) I've always cared about things...no matter how much the delay, and never have I really found reason to flag until now. I am so fatigued that somehow panel doesn't matter that much to me. Or at least, from the point of view of 9pm Friday night it doesn't. I don't know. The Szyumanowski is probably 90% memorized. I've done the Chopin before, so I just need to get it out of the freezer and into the microwave to defrost for a bit.
And the rest are fine. Or so I assure myself. In fact, I am so tired that little mistakes pop up and I don't realize them until way later. I just wonder where all of ME has gone. If I had my way, if I didn't have to be doing panel at 3:15 tomorrow afternoon, I'd be fast asleep. This weekend I'd go see the Barbarian Invasions for journalism, I'd go shopping, I'd be able to drive places.
I'd be reading. Actually reading. Assessing my situation, it's nice that I'm emotionally stable now, but then what? It's not like I have much left. And I don't mean to sound depressing like "aaah, I'm going to die," but I just feel like all my muscles and bones are threatening to collect in a big mush at my feet. Have a good weekend, you guys! lol, can you say saccharine? 
