  ok so like yea im just really just having a rant moment .  i feel as if im not gonna have anyfriends next year .  and alot of it is my fault and im only semi sorry for my actions .  because im just not putting up with anyones bs .
 and i dunno right now im just upset .  i really miss having a bf to hug me and be like .  are you ok and and to tell me that he loves me or just likes to be around me .  no one says shit like that to me and if they do it just isnt the same .  i dunno .  i just wanna love and be loved in return .  i mean am i ugly ?
 .
 i mean .  maybe i am .  i probably am .  but like i must have a shitty personality too because i see nastier girls get with good looking guys .  that are good guys .  i dunno im quite upset and just i dunno when ever i feel like this i just wanan be held .  no one holds me .  i think thats why i want a bf .  no one inmy family holds me and tells me shit will be ok .
 i mean you wouldnt even have to say that just like give me a good reassuring hug and ill be fine because i no thats what you mean .  but i dunno shit .  maybe i deserve this ebacsue im a shitty person .  maybe im just pmsing .  but i dunno i miss it .  i wanna go out and meet guys .  nice guys .  the sweet kind that do stupid shit but mean well and just are silly and .  whatever i dunno im sooo upset somone please come to my rescue even tho .  i no you wont 
