Well, tonight is the official one year anniversary of the ending of my relationship to the only woman I have ever loved. We met during homecoming week at OU. She was a Chi Omega, I was a Phi Delt. We were together for 3 years, with her spending the last year in Dallas trying to find a post-graduation job. It was the only time I have ever trusted anyone, and the only time I have ever fully given myself over to another human. I suppose I still have a lot of things to work out over that relationship and how it ended, but I don't really think I want to. It ended because she is a selfish bitch who was too concerned with her own life to support the career of a man who had always supported hers. I really did love her, and the time we had together was great. Except for the last day. I don't think I will ever really get over her, but I don't think anyone ever does get over their first love. And that's
really what she was. And I guess that was all she will ever be. We haven't seen one another since May 2, 2003, when I was packing up and driving to McAlester after driving to Dallas to be broken up with. Not that I knew it was going to happen. We were supposed to be celebrating my birthday. Sorry, I don't love you anymore. But you can keep the Playstation. I haven't spoken to her on the phone since last July, as we could not talk on the phone without
bringing up our relationship, which bothered her. And I have not emailed her since last October, when we had our last big blowout fight to end all fights. I'm still ashamed of that last email I sent to her, because my only purpose in sending it was to hurt her. Self defense I suppose. This is the first and last time I will ever post specifically about her. But today is a rather big day for me. Today I found out that I am a different person than I was
3 years ago. I am more confident, more sure, and maybe even a better person than I used to be. So without making a habit of doing this, I am going to post some song lyrics that describe how I feel, relating directly to the ex-girlfriend. "New Deep" by John Mayer ***(Lyrics have been edited for length)*** I'm so alive I'm so enlightened I can barely survive A night in my mind I've got a plan I'm gonna find out just how boring I am And have a good time Cause ever since I tried Trying not to find Every little meaning in my life It's been fine I've been cool With my new golden rule Numb is the new deep Done with the old me And talk is the same cheap it's been I'm a new man I wear a new cologne and You wouldn't know me if your
eyes were closed I know what you'll say 'This won't last longer than the rest of the day' But you're wrong this time You're wrong Numb is the new deep Done with the old me I'm over the analyzing Tonight Stop trying to figure it out (you try to figure, you try to figure it out) It will only bring you down
