  I have not been very interesting lately which is why I haven't been writing. Hopefully I will soon have honeymoon pics to post, including a very flattering shot of me posing with a dung beetle sculpture.
Here are some people I need to talk about: Amanda: Happy 21st birthday to my sister! Twat! Helen Marks: Lay off of Paddy-cake, he is getting riled and ready for your next comment.
I know him and he might be a tiny little man but anger gives him the strength of a dozen toothless cougars. The least you could do is titilate us with some Gardening Tips before our rows grow brown and our leaves mottled. Bert: Bert has done nothing but haunt my dreams for the past few weeks. Who are you??? Why do you taunt me?
Wherefore art thou? The other day the fire alarm went off in Bert's apartment, scaring the bejeezus out of me because I was half napping at the time and I had visions of being forced out but for the flames and standing barefoot and shivering at the curb while my home was very nearly but not quite engulfed only to find later the Bert had snuck behind me, unseen, and covered my near frozen body with an old army blanket, saving me from certain death. No? Ok... Come on, doesn't anyone remember high school English? 
