  Um...I know that I've been out of the spotlight for a while now but once you understand why I had to get away. A couple weeks back, I had the chance to go shopping with Brooke for her new Wedding Bra. Well, you already know the story since I see she posted something regarding but she left out some keys elements to the story that need to be address. I was with her when the bra fiasco occurred but just like a ominous haunted house, I entered the dressing room but never left. Well, not technically but emotionally I will always be in that god awful fitting room. Ok, so we were in the fitting room making sure her bra was fitting correctly when all of the sudden Brooke puts both hands on my waist, picks me up and places my whole body underneath her massive rack all the while muttering, "i need to have a larger rack for my wedding so you're going to help me out". She then puts on the bra and then exits the facility with no regard to my breathing or well being or anything.
Everyone with us uttered...."where's did patrick go? " Brooke replies, oh Richie called, he needed Patrick to pick up some 'milk' so he had to go. " Nothing more was spoken. After being stuck under those gargatuan melons, I finally escaped in the early morning hours only to find that her window had been sealed shut with super adhesive.
I took one of her dildos and smashed the window and leapt out onto the cold hard concrete. Now I am sitting here at work with a broken leg and a breathing disorder i can only attribute to Brooke. I will never look at her the same again. So now you know why i've been so elusive all these days. Never trust any woman who wishes to have a bigger set of jugs. They will do anything and I mean anything to have their way. 
