  The pain that has encompassed me entire being is one in which cannot easily be explained. It was the final blow to end all blows which made the sunset on happiness.
I find myself more alone than I may have exaggerated in my prior writings to add emphasis. This feeling makes me feel like I cannot breathe, but I have to sigh. It makes me unable to swallow for fear of nausea. It is this dull pain through my chest and stomach, but recurrences play like an old movie which I know all the lines to in my mind.
Each like the dagger being twisted deeper and deeper. Feeling paralyzed and helpless gave way to hopelessness upon reflection. How could something one thought to be so beautiful and pure turn so ugly and gray? I must go on and search for the radiance I used to possess and searched for. If nothing else this has been a lesson well learned, though these lessons are better not taught.
All one needs at this point is tranquility to remove the sorrow. My mind has a hard time settling and now it cannot move on. 
