  Read my funny mad lib: "If I could invent a holiday, it would be glasses Day. On this day, school would only be open for 72 minutes. Banks would give $13.75 to anyone who asked for it. Grocery stores would give out free sweet potatoes. And punk rock bands would give free concerts in driveways. The sun would always be out and the temperature would be 24 degrees. Parents would have to go to France, Spain, or China on business trips so my friends and I can have our van down by the river to ourselves.
Little sisters and brothers would go to clock museums with uncle's houses so we wouldn't have to babysit. My friends and I would ride through the streets on sailboats, screaming "holy shitbags! " at the top of our lungs. After dark, we would spend 100 days on the phone without getting interrupted. Then we'd watch Grendel movies all night eating Cheetos and drinking hot urinade. " 
