  well, i got my citation dismissed for having "obstructed plates. " felt good about that. i just woke up and it's about 2am.
i've been sleeping since around 6pm...so that seems right...a good 8 hours of sleep. however, i'm gonna have to go back to bed. need my beauty sleep and all that jazz since i'm going to go get my mn license tomorrow. i've been going to sleep so early so i don't need to run into amber.
i don't know why. i always get like this...it's like i'm so embarrassed that i did something that made someone mad at me that i hide. it's just so much easier to avoid things than to face the problem head on. i don't want to have a conversation about it. my ultimate question is why she won't take her shoes off at the door! it's driving me insane, and maybe that's what her goal is. i'm refusing to wash the floors again. i came to an important revelation today. i realized that i have a control problem. this is what is different about me. it started happening after dating nik and he cheated on me with my roommate. i knew something was different but i haven't been able to put my finger on it, until now. so...instead of being controlling of my food, like most people do and have eating disorders...i need everything to be a certain way or i get all worked up.
it makes a lot of sense. i mean, if i can control everybody else, i won't get hurt, right? wrong. it just makes me crazy. but...i can see why my mind is trying it. maybe i should get a self-help book about it. i really would like to be like how i was before. although, i'd of course be a little less naive and have a better eye for assholes.
there was a little bit of a storm tonight. i was hoping for a big one. i really like sleeping curled up in a ball and listening to the rain hit the windows. like a cat. hmm...i'm sort of worried about taking this driving test tomorrow. no, not the road test...just the written one. i'm a good driver...and it's only common sense. however, for some unknown reason i'm worried.
i really can't afford a driver's license...but i need to get it done while i'm still off for the summer because once school starts and i start chaperoning, helping out with all of these events like math team, and not to forget grading tests and quizzes, i won't have any spare time left. although, hopefully i'll have enough time to get a spare job on the side. i'm thinking waitressing...or a coffeeshop worker.
coffeeshop worker sounds the best...but i don't know if i'll get hired or anything...those jobs always seem to fill up fast. i just need a little extra money to pay off my debt before new year's so that i can plan on buying a laptop semi-soon. AND i really need to save up more money for the summer than i did this year. my goal is to have enough money saved up before next summer to be able to buy a laptop at the beginning of the summer. we'll see what happens. anyway, it's 2:20 now so i should get back to bed. surprisingly i'm still tired. probably from staring at this computer screen. 
