  I got rid of instant messenger,  and I'm not making an effort to answer the phone anymore.  I'm also getting rid of the "
comments"  option on this blog stuff.  You probably won't be reading this anyway since you won't see the link in my now nonexistent profile.  I know I said I'd talk to you if you wanted to talk,  but hey I will,  just hope someone else answers the phone,
 because I'm sick of running and diving for it.  You know what's fun?  Riding the bus and reading a book with the windows down and the wind messing up your hair,  and that's something I don't have to rely on anyone else for.  So all and all,  I guess my brief moment of glee was,  as I had been pondering,  just temporary.  During last night,  I thought to myself that maybe this is just now settling in.  Crying spells and lack of sleep is just what I was missing.  I guess that completes the emptiness right?
 Here's a nice song I wrote for Elena during the past few days.  It's probably one of the last happy things you'll see come out of me for a while I'm predicting.  righty the grass was wet that night we found out as we layed on the ground stars were shining bright I could hardly make them out without the glasses I lost but I didn't need them cause I could feel you and I could hear you breathing when it was time to go we both knew that we didn't want to let this go you held me close at my door we said goodnight I knew sleep was coming easy *
I'll never forget that summer pretending like I was wasn't leaving you well I'm never leaving you and you never left*  we stood in the long line for your least favorite ride you begged me not to rock the cart for fear it'd fall apart at the top we were staring down at the crowd and you told me how afraid you feel i was the only one you'd let take you on the ferris wheel at the water's edge we talked about our lives so many things killing us from inside we said if nothing else we'll survive and we're gonna make it in this world *
and I'll never forget that summer pretending like I wasn't leaving you well I'm never leaving you and you never left I'll never forget that summer pretending like I wasn't leaving you well I'm never leaving you and you never left me*  . maybe I am leaving.
