  so i never got the opportunity to give you the full uncensored update, but i'm not really in the mood for organized thought.
therefore, you guys are just going to have to deal with what i write.. hah. first and foremost: financial stress sucks fatty ass. i've decided that worrying about money (or the lack there of) is just wasted energy that can be directed (positively) somewhere else. i've fallen back on plan z, the very last of last alternatives. upside? clean slate. and i cannot wait for that.
i've decided that i really need a door for my room. i can't really concentrate when i'm in here, and that's an understatement. ay. no space, no privacy, no quietness--is that a word? on top of it, parents buggin (indirectly), feelin the itch to move out and be on my own (so to speak) again, AND gf offered. eeks, but i dunno about that one. no money, too much pride. ..tempting though. school is good. who knew art was such an expensive passion? constantly buying stuffs.. my room is looking like a mini art store. psych is good, richard kandus is the most chill and down to earth professor i've ever had. i dig him. =) had a quiz in design that i was unaware of. =X didn't do TOO hot, hopefully the project will make up for it.
it's a SUPER tedious project that requires a lot of tracing, precision, time, and lastly--patience. we'll see. i just noticed.. i'm in a blah mood right now, i don't know why. man all my friends are so far away, what a saddening realization. maybe it's cuz my room is a mess. it's fucking with my room level and ultimately my mood. =P for those of you who are sim fanatics like me, you'd think that last sentence was pretty funny.
hah.
for the rest of you.. uhh.. sorry. lol. maybe i'm sleepy. eeyah.. i'm gonna just call it a night. [geez, not even two months. is that a bad thing? everyone knows me. i freak out with i realize how attached i am.
thrown in the fact that it has only been a short while and it's all over. i think needing someone is scarier than falling in love with her. need develops out of love and therefore means that the love has reached a new level, where life would feel incomplete without it. maybe that's an unsettling thought because i see myself in one big transition phase of my life and well who knows where the road will take me. away from her? maybe? ..how vulnerable my heart feels. ::sigh:: it's a ways away, i'll just cross that bridge when i get there.
in the meantime, i love her and crave her presence. ] and i'm sleeeeeeeeepy, so i'm just going to have to end this on that mushy note..haha. deal with it.
=P 
