  "I love her," I told God in confidence, not sure whether it was the love of Peter or the love of Christ. Both being unwavering but only one unconditional, "and I need your help now more than ever before..." I was to be found in a room of silent mourning, full of questions, devoid of answers. The focus shifted and the scene changed. "What makes you so certain? " He replied. After hours of staring at the computer screen, wallowing in self pity, I considered all she means to me.
"Because when I think of her, noone else matters. " I replied. "Is that your only reason? " The Lord gested. After that, I began to think hard and long. "Because, when the sun rises on the horizon, and we're still talking on the phone, I can see her smile reflecting back at me.
" The Lord was silent for a while, possibly waiting for me to finish expressing myself. "Because...even though i've never met her, I would give my life so that she might live. I love her because she is everything a man of good virtue and integrity could ever dream of. But most importantly Lord, I love her because I know you sent her to me. She is my equal, she is my friend, she is my inspiration..." I soon after turned the computer off and made my way to the bed, feeling worse & worse. Heart drowning in a sea of sorrow and remorse.
I said my prayers to the Lord then lay my head down to sleep. The Lord had yet to respond to any of my earlier expressions, it made me wonder what He knew that I did not. "My son, did you prove your affections by your actions? Spoke the voice of the Lord. "I did not sir," I replied as a tear began to fall from my eye. I had yet to unconditionally prove that she means more to me than any female in the existence of humanity.
I would sometimes play games, change clothes, go watch tv, get something to eat...and wouldn't say a word about leaving momentarily. That's not how you prove that you care about someones' feelings. Its rude and irresponsible. I had been having strange dreams lately...not exactly nightmares, but strange. I often experience precursors to a pending situation in my dreams, a la Ebenezer Scrooge. So when I awoke the next morning, I thought, maybe it was all a dream!
Perhaps my unharmonic dissonance was nothing more than an unspoken spirit of dissent that had the potential to rear its head if I was not careful... "I would like to tell you that this is all a dream," said the Lord early in the morning, "but it is the minds reality also known as mankind, and you will have to deal with your past if there is to be any likeness of a future. " I stayed in the bed a little longer than usual. Get up? Why get up? Why... "If she is my friend, why do I keep hurting her..." "The man worth a womans' tears would never make her cry...save tears of joy..." The Lord said in His word, Lo I am with you always, even to the ends of the earth. Well Lord God, i'm putting this broken vessel in your hands because you are the only one capable of keeping me from falling.
The only wise God, true & living God. So before it is too late, I surrender all.... 
