  ..::**LeTiN iT bUrN**::.. im so twisted cuss 1 side of me is telling me i need to move on the other side want to break down *&* cry!!!!
!i just dont know what to do .. im so depressed i can't be happy EVER!! i can't deal with this....praying *&* hoping matt doesnt mess up *&* get drunk *&* hook up with someone! !i know he will regret it.... i just wish everything was just back to normal!! like it use to be me loving him *&* him loving me !!
i just hope some day we can get over this **needing space** thing some day!! but im not gonna sit around *&* wait on him... but im not moving on yet .. im not ready to be with **ANYBODY** not even matt!! i don't even think he could make me happy now:S im so so so depressed..! !..we talking on tha phone today for like 30mins or so ... we talked about what he has been doing *&* What ive been doing!!!
... *&* if we like the single life!!?LoL.. *&* How he is working with his daddy now... how much he partys *&* stuff!! ... we got along really good :) we didnt even get into !! *&* i didnt CrY!!! :D im so proud of myself!! well this saturday will be our 10 month anniversery... i know i will cry that day for real!! .. i just can't help it i feel like i can't even breathe i feel like he has broke my heart into pieces!!
*&* i can't take it!! i feel like im bout to die inside! !i wish it was all better i wish i couldn't get depressed over this but i can't help it .. its just that i loved him so much *&* still do!!... i know he still loves me to .. i just wish we could go back in time *&* skip this part!! LoL.. anywas i just had to get that out .. i thought i was gonna break down ..... anywas im gonna go to bed cuss i need to rest for cheerleading camp!!
for*real**i think we are gonnna go out on tha boat tomorrow!! :P im excited about that... maybe that will make me happy again Lol!! *i love matt* 
