  I've always wanted a pet midget named Joseph. It would do my bidding and be my buddy at the same time. It would rest itself on my shoulder and whisper funny things about the people I'm associating with. He would only eat if he poops in the right place and not in my bed. This isn't my life dream (that involves me, a bunch of llama, and a whooooollllleee lotta jiffy lube), but it's a dream. -Suicide Smutter 
