  Yes, I disappeared off the face of the earth, but now I’m back... Hey what’s good everyone! Yeah the blog has been pretty dead lately, that’s because the smuttiest one of all hasn’t posted in a couple weeks! I’m going to give a brief summary of what I did everyday, maybe you don’t care, but I like to look back at previous posts to see how my life has changed. Alright, here goes! Sunday (5/30) – woke up very late, watched the movie kids with alex, jena, and christey. They seemed pretty disturbed by the movie, I was too the first time I saw it. But the truth is the movie isn’t disturbing, real life is.
Just watch the movie and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Monday (5/31) – had a few people over, watched matrix revolutions, and then blazed with Colleen, Jay, and Reza. Tuesday (6/1) – Got 3 of my wisdom teeth extracted! It wasn’t half as bad as people said it would be! I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be prescribed vicatin; the dentist gave me codeine instead. Boo. That night we watched Lord of the Rings at Reza’s. It took me one hour to eat one slice of pizza! For the next few days I couldn’t eat food that well : ( Wednesday (6/2) – went to bleachers with smut and played darts.
I haven’t thrown darts in years and I think I scored pretty well. Drew and I purchased some KY warming liquid from A&P, good stuff! Vince then hooked me up with a bottle of vicatin he never used. That night I popped a pill and then took two hits from the bong. Vicatin taken 20 minutes before blazing multiplies the effect of both. We then got some fast food and pigged out. Thursday (6/3) - played some Frisbee, played some tennis, went to hoyers, blazed, ate for free at mcd’s with smut, and then just chilled here. Friday (6/4) – played some more tennis, sneaked the girls out, got really drunk, don’t remember too much after that :-P Saturday (6/5) – ahhh yes Zach’s long awaited double kegger for his sister’s graduation from Binghamton. It was a blast. We had a HUGE game of flip cup ALBANY VS BINGHAMTON! Yeah we lost the first game, but won eight games in a row after that! Then, I challenged some Binghamton student one on one with 5 cups and I mean come on, it’s a UAlbany student’s job to beat sorry suckers in flip cup! I stopped drinking shortly after that to sober up because I would be driving home that night. Zach smoked me up with the most delicious peach blunt ever.
I also danced some disco and skinhead to entertain the locals! Overall it was an awesome time! Sunday (6/6) - Dr. Smut and I popped some V and blazed. Then ate a massive amount of food. Monday (6/7) – played some cracked out tennis with Dr. Smut. it was bad. Being cracked out sucks. Then Jermaine picked me up to set up a wireless network for his girlfriend’s mom’s computers.
OMG. She is by far the hottest mom I have ever seen. While talking to her, keep in mind I was still cracked out, I pictured myself just banging her right then and there. I then came back into reality and realized that I had to do what I came there to do. Tuesday (6/8) – drew, x, and I went swimming in Laurens pool. We also barbequed some hot dogs and hamburgers and then just chilled. Wednesday (6/9) – I went to the barber and got a free shape up from Jermaine’s uncle, Hector, who works there.
Went to jacki p’s for a little and swam in the pool. After, I got ready for a job interview with Vector marketing. I got the job. Thursday (6/10) – training for the job, what I do is set up appointments with people I know and then give a 20 minute presentation on kitchen cutlery. I make $15.25 for each appointment or get a 10% starting commission. Then we ask the customer to get us some referrals, easier said than done. Chilled with jay, kev, and nick that night. Didn’t smoke or anything, couldn’t be cracked out for the next day.. Friday (6/11) – trained some more, made some appointments for the weekend. And that night chilled with the girls, had a bud ice to feel good. Saturday (6/12) – that was an awesome day.
I had training in the morning and then a couple presentations that afternoon. That night Jeff invited me over to his sister’s birthday and he said I could bring a few people. So I got nick, jacki p, crystal, veronica, and alex over there. We drunk some special punch and played drinking card games. It was a lot of fun. We headed back over here and smoked some haze. While in the garage I felt a pinch.
I look at my thumb and there’s a mosquito sucking the blood out of it. I go to smack it and it flies past my ear. I have never felt such hatred in my life. I hope that mosquito dies a horrible, slow, excruciating death. That night I slept like a baby and finally had a GOOD dream for once. Sunday (6/13) – had a presentation in the early afternoon, then I drove chris and nick around while they blazed, chilled at hoyers, got dirty looks from old people, why are old people so dumb, oh yeah that’s right cause they’re old. After I had a couple presentations in the evening made a couple sales and had dinner too with jeff’s parents! Monday (6/14) – had a meeting early in the morning, me and 3 of my co workers had to drive to a huge meeting in new jersey, one of my co workers, jon, on the ride down was like “yo you guys blaze?” word… he rolled a joint and we went to the meeting blazed .
It was the first regional meeting I’ve ever been to and I didn’t know what to expect. It was fucking insane, there was 300 loud sales reps all college students just going crazy. I was meeting new people and shaking their hands I had no clue what the hell was going on. People were screaming and cheering. New jersey sat on one side, New York sat on the other side. We were all chanting for our states and NY was clearly the winner.
The company gives out a lot of recognition for people who do well, which is just about everyone who works with Vector. That night I chilled with a couple of the girls at hoyers. Lauren and I jumped into the trunk of the car, bounced up and down and got out at the perfect moment where people were walking by. Some girl actually said “what the fuck? !” I played it off like I was confused and got in the car and drove away. It was so fucking hilarious you just had to be there.. Tuesday (6/15) – gave a presentation to mom and dad, they seemed impressed with the quality of the product and my presentation.
After I went swimming at lauren’s and drunk some gin and juice. Then I gave lauren’s mom a presentation and then another presentation after that. That night a few girls came here and chilled. This chick Taylor fucking drunk a 22 of Smirnoff in less than 5 minutes and then started drinking MY beer! Very impressive, very hot. I ended up funneling the rest of my bud ice . It was a fun night! Wednesday (6/16) – I quit my job for three reasons: transportation, recommendations are a bitch, and the schedule I had was ridiculous.
We don’t get paid for training, therefore I’d have to be at the office at 10am for 5 hours of training and then let’s say I’d have a presentation at 4 and then my next one would be at like 8. I do nothing in between then but sit in my work clothes waiting around. Also, the only time I could present is around other people’s schedules, not mine.
When I quit I had a whole nice letter of resignation that I prepared and read. My manager was trying to get me to stay by saying like “quitting can turn into a bad habit” yeah ummm okay and then he said something about quitting cigarettes so I said, “but you want to quit cigarettes?” and then he said something about challenging myself and I thought, there are a billion different ways I can challenge myself in this world. I can try and challenge myself by becoming a chemistry teacher, but I don’t want to do chemistry I want to do MATH. I really had a good time selling, I sold $1000 in kitchen cutlery in 5 days, the job itself was fairly easy, but I just couldn’t keep it because of the reasons above. And that’s that. And here I am now unemployed by choice. Not only did I give up a fairly decent job, but a great opportunity and that was learning a lot of skills that I’m not going to get into cause I’m real tired I haven’t got a full night of sleep in a week. So until next time… keep it SMUTTY!
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