  I don't know what to feel right now... I mean, I feel sort of sad, still, but I'm not sure if this large stone in my heart is because it was real and I let it go, or because I just don't know how to handle this. It was just one of those nights last night, you know? He was perfectly willing to keep trying, but I just felt that I couldn't do it anymore... Now I wonder if I'd just held my tongue if things would still be alright.
&nbsp; The phone sits there like the Devil taunting Eve with the Fruit. He's out somewhere with friends, I'm so sure of that. I can call him to see how he's doing right now, but that'd be fairly pointless... I should just grow up and accept what I did, but it's uber-hard. &nbsp; He's going to a concert tomorrow that he's been wanting to go to since... something. I just hope that I didn't ruin it for him... &nbsp; If I call, I'll be smothering.
Technically, I shouldn't care anymore. It's over and done with, and I shouldn't even worry. &nbsp; Fuck it... Just fuck it... 
