  I really don't wanna be alone tomorrow night. but it seems i have no choice bcuz i am destined to be lonely and the fact that jesse isn't a girl. i don't know. i just had a hard time today. i went shopping and i didn't get anything!  can you even call it shopping?
 hmm more like browsing. iono. i don't know. i get mad sometimes. like i wonder if jesse does actually like me for me and actually cares about the person i am.  or is it just a misconception bcuz they can't see me for who i am,
 distracted by the outside?  i just don't want to be someone that they love for the wrong reasons.  ok maybe that is just the lonliness talking. hmm. and for some strange reason i really miss cameron. haha.
i miss talking to him and laughing. but at the same time i love jesse and miss him just as much. guys need to stop being so damned confusing. wait a second. i think i'm the one who is being confusing. damn.
 i think the last time i truly had fun was on christmas with jesse when we played snakes and ladders and checkers. and of course when he tickles me.  =  that was actual pure fun.  haha. you know what's funny?
 my title sounds like a headline.  lol.  ok i am having fun now. yes. yes i am. well i got bummed out bcuz yesterday jesse didn't call me and i hadn't talked to him forever and i was just all mad that nothing was going right and ahhh.
 hmmmmm. what to say. ah yes.  tutoring didn't go too horribly but man does she waste time. i was like. let's just get this done.
and then she'd take a marker and a pad of paper and then i guess she was trying to make sense out of it and it seemed like she was the one teaching me!  ahh.  she was like adding on like a fractional problem where you were supposed to get a common denominator.  hmm. i wonder if i'm really cut out to be a teacher.  i can't keep my own flute section together with only 8 people how am i supposed to teach a class of like 30?
 i must learn!  I'LL SHOW YOU!  muahaha!  umm right. sorry. but the problem with my section is that i try to be their friend and not their section leader.
i hate being the bad guy.  oh well sooner or later i must learn and serve my classroom JUSTICE!
