  I've just read a post of WM Mike's on Witchgrove and decided that I need to deal with my problems. *WARNING* This will be a long post! I both loved and hated work today. Loved it because we had the changeover to do and we worked like blazes and got it done by 5.30 so we didn't have to stay late. Hated it because I just got crap from F. She wanted to know exactly what I was doing every time she came near me and I keep getting manipulated into doing things by her.
For example: a customer returned a book which we've never stocked before so it needed to be transferred back to the orignal branch. She did the transfer on the screen and put the paperwork in the book and then just left it there. EVERYONE else would have then filled out an address label and then taken the lot upstairs to make Gemma's job easier. But she didn't bother. So I did it, to help Gemma and she comes fast and says "Thanks for doing that. " Now I realise she said thanks, which is a start. But I wasn't doing it for her, because I know she wouldn't bother doing it for me, I was doing it for Gemma. The same thing happened a couple more times today, she leaves things half-done, I finish them cause they're driving me crazy then she says thanks for doing that for me, then takes all the credit for doing the job.
AAARRRRGGGGHHH! I just have to block her out. She's obviously playing me, and I want it to stop. I'll get some tips from Mab at the weekend. Next: Handfasting and camping. I've been looking forward to this for ages and have kept asking Phoenix to post about it on the Wolves group so everyone knows. He finally did it on Monday and yesterday I get a phone call from Andy asking what's happening. So because Phoenix hadn't squared it with Andy (who organised the whole trip and booked it all etc) our circle of flowers and vows is now going to be vows by the camp fire. This annoyed me, cause Phoenix should have made sure Andy knew first so we could plan it better. Then Andy phoned today cause it got posted to PaganMidlands too and other people answered it. Now I get why Andy is annoyed about that, I am too because the person concerned has also been bugging me for a while.
But I am now feeling that I don't want to go camping because I'll be walking on eggshells the whole time hoping that people are or aren't there and trying to make everyone happy. I want a nice weekend away with my handfasting during it. Not a lot to ask? But it's just all gone pants because of Phoenix not pulling his finger out and messages being posted to places they weren't supposed to be. I want to just sit back and say "You sort it" to Phoenix, but he won't. Then I'll feel like crap and everything will be a mess, whereas if I sort it all then I'll just feel like crap, but not as bad as I would if I'd left it to him.
Brain hurts, life is annoying. I keep trying to remember what Benji said at the wedding, that people come to Waterstone's to buy books, but that they also come for my knowledge and stuff. I just have to remember that people appreciate me for me and it's not like school anymore. I left 7 years ago for heavens sake, I shouldn't still be feeling so useless and trying to please. Gah. Dinners ready. I feel a bit better for all this typing, but part of me is now worrying about what people will think when they read it! Double Gah! 
