  i do not even know where to begin regarding the new job. let's just say.. i'm terrified that i've made a really horrible mistake. i took a paycut and fear that i absolutely fucking abhore this job. i feel stupid. i'm ready to peel paint off the walls with my nails.
i'm beyond exhausted, have worked 30 hours in the past 3 days and my 2nd job is at me about all of the things that must be accomplished tomorrow (my 1 day off). shitty shitty shitty. today was supposed to be my day off but NOPE! i don't know what to do. I think that i will make a bit of coffee and get outside and start working. there's so much to get done and i can't dig up a single soul to help me. that's a crappy feeling. i'm feeling very ungrateful, i think. i start having thoughts like.. why give of my time so freely when i can't even scrounge up help for myself when it's needed??
but that's selfish and i dunno, we should give without looking for something in return and that's not really my point i just need a little help tomorrow please at my house all morning, all afternoon, part of the evening....all evening tonight, please? heh. what a mess. i just want a little rest. tomorrow will be spent working like a crazy person and sunday i go back to the new, insane job.
when i arrive at work they hook me up to a bag much like you might see when donating blood. for the remainder of the evening they steadily drain from me anything they can get their grubby little fingers on. i'm done being a whiney little girl now. 
