  i keep posting today. yay. anyway, i'm adding a new link to the side over there and i just wanted to draw some attention to it. it's something i'm very intrigued by.. (Long story kinda short) .. during my walk today i ended up at a friend's house..a girl i went to college with. i attended a private, Baptist liberal arts college. *mixed feelings* (rewinding) i ended a long relationship with someone mainly on the basis that... he didn't believe in god.
where am i now on this? i'm..... uh.. not sure. but she knew of our relationship and when i saw her tonight she asked me about him. she asked me if i'd heard of a site called "real live preacher dot com. " i hadn't and then tonight when perusing some blogs that i read...i saw someone had just added a link to that site. coincidence, hm?
so..i feel like rambling on this topic for awhile but i'm not sure how. i have to be honest... in a perfect world... i'd like to be with lindsay forever and i've found myself questioning whether we do/will/would agree on issues of faith... truth is... he's the most spiritual, faithful, beautiful, caring, soulful, amazing being i've ever known. no, i don't think we agree on many faith based issues.. maybe "religion" would be the dirty word to insert here. i hate religion. hate hate hate. i do, however....love God.
i've abandoned much of what i grew up 'knowing. ' this can be good and bad. i want god to be a mainstay...core of my life. however, ahhhhhhhhhh... this topic is going deeper than i intended and i feel as though i'm talking in circles.....mainly to myself. I want to include something lindsay shared with me. i printed a copy of it the day he sent it and have kept it near me since.
this will be long but i'm gonna send it regardless. "We were taught many things throughout our lives by people in a position of authority over us or by people we looked up to for one reason or another. For the most part, we accepted what we learned on faith because of the position of esteem they held in our mind. Some people never re-examine the ideas and opinions they have held for a long time. Those we've learned from may have been wrong, or only partially right, or only known part of the truth. Yet, we believe without question, as if they are gods.
Question everything. There's a natural fear that if our thinking changes, we may lose an important part of ourselves or somehow become...changed. That's the point! Free yourself from restrictive thinking and you gain expanded awareness. You will still be you - a better you, but still you just the same. There is nothing to fear unless you fear becoming a more enlightened person.
" (there's more) dennis gaskill wrote that, want to give him credit. what's my point? lindsay is truly.. an everyday angel. my everyday angel . he inspires me, makes me want to be a better person, pushes me to grow and learn and share. i hope he knows how important that all is to me and how much i love him for it.
i'm blessed to have had him as any part of my life and i plan on keeping him. i hope he plans on doing the same. real live preacher. that's the link i'm adding over there. read it if you want. i'm gonna go check it out for myself.
feeling thirsty. 
