  Well, it looks as though Ed and I have lost the baby. I am saddened of course. I know that I wasn't mentally prepared to be a mommy of four, but if you know me, you know how much I value each of my children's life...so this was a bit hard for me to take.
I have always believed that a life starts at conception, so the moment I found out I was pregnant was the moment I started to love my child. The baby wasn't really developed, somewhere in December the baby stopped growing. I know that it is for the best, it probably had some health problems, or what I hear, not meant to be...but that lost child is still loved dearly by me. Maybe I am a little too emotionally tied to this baby, maybe that has been the reason why today I have felt so BLAH. I go back to the hospital on Tuesday. After the long time in the ER last night, I am not looking forward to being there again.
All things happen for a reason, I am a firm believer in that. Someday, when we are ready and able to, Ed and I will complete our family by having another child...MAYBE...and when and if that happens, I know we will be better prepared financially, emotionally, mentally and for me anyway, physically...24hour here we come. I have about 80 pounds I need to shed, how else should you spend the New Year, right? 
