  I wanted to take the time to pay my respect to all the families who have recently lost a loved one, especially those in the military. I have just read that fifteen men died from Camp Pendleton and I am sure that many of those men have wives and children they are leaving behind. I think that this hits me hard because the men whohave died come from the group that Ed will be joining this June. Yes, I am scared. I am terrified. This is the worst reality a military spouse must face. The reality that their loved one may not come bacl All the feelings I felt when he was gone last year are gushing back and maybe that is why I am unable to sleep.
I find myself watching him sleep and thinking,"God I can't live without you in my life. " That is how much I love Ed. Yes he drives me crazy and yes some days I want to strangle him. But I cannot honestly see myself without him. He is such a huge part of me, a huge part of my life. Then I see and hear about these families who do lose their loved ones and I think to myself, how do they do it?
I hope and pray I never have to expereince what they experienced because I honestly do not know if I would have the strength and the will to move on. I am sorry this was so sad. I just read the news and imagined that that could easily be us and that is scary. Gives new meaning to live for today and enjoy because tomorrow is not guaranteed. 
