  I was sitting in front of the telly, laughing and it strucked me: I'm in a good place. This feels good. LIFE feels good. Finally. I feel.. blessed even. Hmm..
Sounds weird right? But entah.. I realised that I have nearly come to the end of my 'grieving' process. I have come to accept that this is fate, and this is how it should be. This is how God intend my life to be, and I'm taking it in with arms wide open. But how do I know this?
I'm not sure how to describe it myself. I can just FEEL it you know. Sure, maybe in the future I'll feel sad at times. But I'm not feeling that at the moment. Right now, I feel happy. I can be reminded of how we used to be back in those happy days, and I won't feel a thing.
Sometimes, when I sit by myself (usually during the day when I do absolutely nothing BUT sit and stare at the telly :P) memories of good and bad times will come flashing by and some of them even make me smile. Not smile as in I-wish-we-are-still-together smile, but smile as in gosh-those-were-the-days smile. Writing this down, I feel a bit sceptical of myself, but I mean everything I say. I think this is it. This is the beginning of the end. Of course, I'm still not on talking terms with him.
:P.. I'm not THAT nice you see. As I told a friend, if i was an animal, I'd be a bitch. hihihi... It was never meant to be. We were (still are) like chalk and cheese.
It was all wrong from the start. I really think we shouldn't have even tried it out. But I'm glad that we did, because I have grown so much since then. Yeah, no regrets. Retrospectively, there were a lot of things that did not quite fit. Backgrounds, beliefs, hopes and dreams.
We have different priorities in our lives. I still find this so confusing. If we were so different, how could we stand those 3 1/2 years together? Hmmm... There were definitely good times, and I was happy most of the time. The last year of our relationship was a bit difficult though.
We started fighting and I was just miserable. I think he was as well. Like I said, i think it was never meant to be. :) Going off tangent (like I have always done anyway), I just realised that all my friends in Southampton have started their first final-year rotation. Errrghhh... I am officially a final-year medical student.
That sounds.. odd. (No, I didn't forget to go back to the UK. I'm still here coz I applied to do my first rotation in KL. Clever eh? hihihi). And the deadline for our job application is supposed to be on the 12th of July.
*terrified* I am SO confused, I don't know where I want to work. It's going to be pretty stressful for the next couple of days, and I hope that I will get my first choice (Amen). Should I go for a place with a hospital overlooking the sea (bliss...) or should I go for a place that will make me look good on my CV? (hmm..the rational me would go for this one. But the sea??? Tsk.. Tough eh?
) Going off tangent yet again.. I think if I lean towards my right standing on the weighing machine, I'm definitely half a kilogram lighter. Twisted mind I have, I know. hihihihihi.. 
