  SIGH... This is ugly. But what do I expect, it's only been a day. I slept last night, but was woken up by a bad dream. It's only 3 in the morning. Why do I need them in my dreams?
My friend warned me that after my anger has subsided, I'll feel like shit. God, how I look forward to that. It makes me sick. To think that only 2 months ago, I was the one he was holding hands with. I was the one he called when he had problems (at least, that's what I think). and I was the reason he came down to London.
But NOW..everything has changed. I can't help but imagine him with her, laughing and holding hands. They have probably even kissed for all I know. It's him, I won't be surprised. SIGH.. I should't be thinking about this.
I was doing alright. I was beginning to move on. But his news threw me off completely. Why LIE? He could've kept his pride. I used to look up at him with admiration- I didn't know anyone could be this nice, and such a gentleman.
But NOW- He's SO little to me. I try to search whithin myself, what do I feel about him? I can't find anything. Nothing. Not anger or hatred. Jauh sekali lah admiration or respect.
Is he not embarrassed? To have someone hate you is one thing, but to have people lose their respect for you is another. And his friends- "If you're happy, then I'm happy for you". What crap is that? Why are they afraid to say that what he did was wrong? I am not in denial.
Think about it. Someone told you he wants to break up with you because he does not want to be in a relationship at the moment. But a few weeks later, fall for someone else? What crap were you feeding me? I invested a lot in the relationship, and this is how I was treated in the end. And I was moving on, but now he gives me more crap that I have to deal with.
I have to go through the whole thing again.. They say "How soon is too soon?". Sooner or later he's gonna be with someone new. I know that. But that's not the point. I am tired of explaining, read my other entries.
If someone still thinks that I was bothered about that, I'm afraid I have no choice but to label he/she as ignorant. SIGH.. I want this to end as soon as possible. I am so tired, mentally and physically. I am SO tired. 
